Dual Identity Kissing Crisis
by Callisto Nicol
Summary: It's okay to ask Chat for dating advice about Adrien, right? Even though she knows Chat is Adrien, but Chat doesn't know she knows he's Adrien? Maybe she should have thought this through before opening her mouth.


School was mere minutes from starting when crush-of-her-heart Adrien took his seat, turning sideways to address Nino. "Oh, man, have I got a joke for you!" Adrien said, excitement so tangible Marinette felt it from the row behind. "You ready for this?" Nino rolled his eyes good naturedly, and Marinette hid a smile in her notebook, pretending she wasn't eavesdropping. "Two silk worms enter a race. They end up in a tie."

Nino rolled his eyes so hard Ladybug would be proud, but Marinette froze in her seat.

Coincidence. It had to be coincidence.

"Where did you get that awful joke?" Nino asked. "Seriously, it's the worst one yet."

"If by _worst_ you mean _best_ , then, yes, I agree," Adrien said. "A friend of mine shared it last night. Said she came across it while goofing off on the internet and knew I'd appreciate it."

No.

No no no no no no.

NO.

It was not supposed to happen this way! She wasn't supposed to find out who Chat Noir was because she overheard him retell a bad joke she first told him! It was supposed to happen years down the road, possibly after Hawkmoth was defeated, when they both mutually agreed it was time.

It wasn't supposed to happen as class was starting, giving Marinette no room to process. She needed to think this through-Chat Noir was _Adrien_ , her _crush_ , and he was _right here in the room with her_ -

Marinette bolted upright, her face flaming.

 _She had kissed Adrien Agreste._

Any higher brain functioning shut down completely as she focused in on the remembered feel of his lips on hers, how he'd tilted his head slightly and gave in, releasing the side of himself Dark Cupid controlled.

She'd been fighting off dreams of that moment for over a year now, vainly telling herself she wasn't attracted to Chat, repeating Adrien's name like a mantra and _it had been him the whole time._

She had _kissed_ Adrien!

A noise very much so resembling a dying duck ripped from her throat, grabbing the attention of everyone in the classroom, teacher included. When had school even started?

"Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, are you all right?" Mme. Bustier queried, brow furrowed with something suspiciously like worry.

Worse, _Adrien_ was looking at her.

Dying duck noise happened again.

Marinette tried to choke out some word that sounded vaguely like _bathroom_ before rushing out of class, taking sanctuary in a toilet stall.

All right. Okay. She just needed to sort through this, process it a bit, and she'd be fine. She just had to get past the fact that she'd _kissed_ _Adrien_. Her heart started pounding, her breaths short and ragged, and the world spun a little.

Marinette dropped to the floor, pressing her head between her legs. Deep, even breaths, she told herself, then proceeded to gasp for air like a dying fish. Never once in her daydreams about kissing Adrien had she even considered acting panicked. Pleased, sure, or floating in the clouds, or giddy, or ecstatic or elated or delighted, or even annoying (only Alya would think that, though)-but never _panicked_.

Well, honestly, that's because she always dreamed him a willing participant who remembered the occasion. Now she was freaking out about kissing Adrien, and she couldn't even tell anybody because not only did nobody know, but the boy in question had no memory of the event.

This day was turning into an unmitigated disaster.

"Marinette?" Tikki's tiny voice called, the red kwami hovering nervously in front of Marinette's face. "Are you okay?"

A third dying duck noise came out, leaving Marinette wondering if she was actually turning into a duck. It was theoretically possible, right? Weirder things had happened to akuma victims, like Reflekta turning everybody into her, and Theo becoming Chat Noir part 2. Who's to say she couldn't become a duck?

After all, if she were an akuma duck, Chat would have to come and rescue her, which means _Adrien_ would rescue her, so she could fall dramatically in his arms after he de-akuma-tized her-

Could Chat even de-akuma-tize her? It was her Ladybug compact, after all, that purified the evil. For that matter, could she even become an akuma? Did being Ladybug give her special immunity? It's not like she or Chat had any empirical evidence to the contrary.

"Marinette," Tikki said again, this time directly in front of Marinette's eyes, close enough to kiss, which Marinette would have done if Tikki were Chat. "You're scaring me."

Marinette closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of her tiny kwami. "I'm just busy trying to pretend that what I know isn't what I know, because if it isn't what I know then I have a passably decent chance of not melting into the floor, because if what I know _is_ what I know, then that's a very real possibility."

"...What?" Tikki asked.

"You know," Marinette said, "Chat!"

"I don't understand."

Marinette slumped over, returning her head to her knees. "Neither do I," she moaned.

Silence reigned as the small kwami hovered over Marinette, trying to figure out what to do. For her part, Marinette ignored her tiny companion and refocused on breathing. She needed to get that under control if she ever wanted to return to class and face Chat-Adrien-did it even matter? They were the same person. Technically. It's just, well…

They weren't.

Adrien was quiet and studious, and Chat was boisterous and couldn't hold still. Chat told bad puns, and Adrien-actually, Adrien did that, too, especially the more you got to know him (or stalk him. Whatever). They were both kind. Chat would happily take a hit for her, and while she didn't know for sure that Adrien would, he probably would-no, wait, she _did_ know he would; he was Chat, and Chat did it all the time.

Oh, this made her head hurt.

"Marinette, why are you hiding in the toilet?" Tikki finally asked, settling herself on Marinette's knee.

Which brought her back to the original problem: she couldn't face Adrien Agreste knowing she'd kissed him.

"I kissed Adrien," Marinette said, "and I don't know how to act. If you thought I was a stammering mess when I just thought he was cute, just wait."

"You kissed Adrien?" Tikki squealed. "This is great news! Maybe your crush can finally become a reality! Marinette, you shouldn't be hiding; we should be celebrating. This is a huge achievement! You should tell Alya; she'll throw a party with you."

"Can't," Marinette groaned.

"Can't what?" Tikki asked.

"Can't tell Alya. It's a giant secret and I can't tell anybody, not even Adrien!"

Tikki was silent a moment before saying, "Marinette, are you talking about a dream?"

Marinette finally lifted her head, dolefully eyeing her kwami. "Tikki, I kissed Adrien and I can't tell him because he doesn't remember, because he was under the influence of an akuma at the time. So I have to live with this blissfully horrifying knowledge _all by myself."_

TIkki finally gave up on getting coherent answers out of her charge, instead choosing to pat her head sympathetically. Marinette revelled in the small comfort, wondering how long she'd been in the toilet stall and how much longer she had before Alya came looking for her.

Well, there was nothing for it but to square her shoulders and return to class. She could sit calmly behind Adrien without thinking about how soft his lips were, and how warm, and how she could feel his affection even through the haze of Dark Cupid's power-

She groaned again; today was going to be a complete disaster.

Slipping quietly into her seat, Marinette tried hard to ignore everyone, especially the beautiful blonde sitting right in front of her. If she made eye contact with anyone, there was a solid chance there'd be a fourth reprisal of dying duck.

After a moment, Alya slid a note over.

 _You okay? Your face is still red. Are you sick? Do you need to go home?_

Marinette considered how best to respond. Sick? No. Elated/horrified/completley confused? Yes. Allowed to say anything about it? No. Plausible excuse? Also no.

 _Just trying out a tomato costume_ is what she went with.

Alya wrote back, _Well that's easy enough to maintain; just try talking to Adrien and you'll stay permanently red._

Talk to Adrien. That. Yes. That was a thing. A thing she needed to do. Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday.

Or never. Never was good.

 _How_ was she supposed to look at him, knowing what he tasted like?

 _Your face just went even redder, if that's even possible,_ Alya scrawled.

 _Merci beaucoup_ , Marinette wrote back, pressing as hard as she could with her pen in an attempt to relay her sarcasm.

The teacher started giving them the eye, so Marinette tucked her paper away and furiously scribbled notes, giving only half an ear to the lecture. Alya's look said they'd talk later, which was fine by Marinette, because there was a solid chance she was going to internally combust before _later_ could happen.

Unfortunately, internal combustion didn't happen, making _Discussion with Alya_ the current biggest threat on Marinette's list. Was it terrible of her that she wished an akuma would choose now to attack? Actually, no, that was a horrible idea, because then she'd have to face Chat, knowing full well he was Adrien, and pretend like she wasn't thinking about kissing him again.

She really needed a new track for her mind.

"Okay, girl, spill," Alya said as they walked out of the school. "You haven't been this red since you tried using words to talk to Adrien, which I guess makes this color on you a pretty common occurence."

They started the short trip to Marinette's parents' bakery, Marinette chewing on the inside of her cheek as she considered how best to respond to Alya. "It's…" she hemmed, thinking maybe she shouldn't have started a sentence she didn't know how to finish.

"Marinette?" Alya asked, ceasing her walking to put her hands on Marinette's shoulders. Concern creased her brow, genuine worry starting to replace her teasing nature.

"It's just, there's this problem, and I didn't know it was a problem before today, but I made a connection I wasn't supposed to make, and now I can't stop freaking out, but I _really_ need to stop before I run into him again because there's no way I can hide a major freakout, but how am I supposed to do that? I mean, I _know_ what it's like to, well, _you know_ , and I'll be busy remembering that when I'm looking at him, except _he_ doesn't even remember, and it's not like I've ever brought it up before, because it didn't matter before today and he didn't need to remember, but now it's extremely relevant, and I need to address the issue, but I _can't_ because I'm not _supposed_ to know! It's a complete accident!"

"Whoa, girl, slow down there," Alya said, her concern not abating. "Whatever it is, Marinette, you need to take a few deep breaths. You can't handle anything if you're hyperventilating."

Her morning in the toilet popped into mind. Marinette was fairly certain Tikki had been trying to tell her the same thing.

Taking a few measured breaths, Marinette tried focusing on other things in her life, like the fact that she was supposed to help out in the bakery this afternoon, and she was scheduled to babysit Manon in two days, and hello, was that Adrien's face on a billboard?

She should have known better than to fall for a model.

A model!

Oh _no_ , that meant _Chat_ was also a model. Or rather, not also, but was-whatever. It was going to be a while before she stopped referring to Adrien and Chat as two different people. The important thing was Chat was already insufferable with the flirting and flexing. If he knew she knew he was a model, he would never let up.

"Hon," Alya said seriously, "what is going on?"

Tilting her head up, Marinette pondered what to say that wasn't an outright lie. Well, when in doubt, tell the truth. "I can't tell you."

Alya dropped her hands, stepping back and crossing her arms. "You can't tell me?" she asked flatly.

"Nope," Marinete replied. Alya's foot started tapping, increasing the anxiety Marinette was feeling. "It's not that I don't want to, I just can't," she continued. "It's someone else's secret, and he deserves better than for me to splash his secrets all over Paris."

"I'm not all of Paris."

"True, but really, Alya, would you like it if I told any of your secrets to somebody? Even if it was just one somebody?"

Alya hedged, clearly wanting to say yes, but knowing she couldn't say it honestly. It didn't make Marinette feel any better; she really wanted her best friend's advice. If there was ever a time for it, it would be when she was facing a dual identity kissing crisis.

"Okay, fine, you have a point, but I don't like seeing you so agitated. I want to do something to help, Marinette. Sitting on the sidelines isn't something I'm particularly good at."

They resumed walking to the bakery, silence permeating the air. At least trying to think of a way to get Alya involved distracted Marinette from her boy problems-nope, there they were, back again. Damn her thought process.

The girls entered the bakery, greeting Marinette's parents as they passed them on their way upstairs. Her parents cheerfully responded, completely oblivious to the anguish running rampant through Marinette's soul. Food prep was a silent affair, until halfway through a lunch of merguez sausages when Alya spoke again. "I get that you can't share someone else's secret," she said around a mouthful of sausage and baguette, "but you really need to find someone you can talk to. It isn't healthy keeping this all bottled up, especially when the result is you turning the same color as the Chinese flag."

"Not a bad idea," Marinette said, "but I can't tell _anyone_ this secret."

"It's that secret?"

"Yes." Telling anyone could result in whispers getting back to Hawkmoth, and as much as Chatdrien was driving her thoughts crazy, she'd never do anything to endanger him.

"Then talk to the keeper of the secret."

Marinette blinked. "That seems like such a simple solution," she started.

"That's why I have all the big ideas," Alya grinned.

"But you are forgetting one important point."

"And that is?"

"If I try and talk to him about it, I'm going to melt in a puddle on the floor, and then the problem won't get solved _and_ the world will be short one Marinette."

Alya snorted around her food.

But really, how was she supposed to face Adrien? How was she supposed to face Chat? How was she supposed to tell him she knew who he was and really wanted to kiss him again?

Worry plagued her for the rest of the day. School passed in a blur, except for when Adrien smiled at her and she literally bolted for the toilet. If he didn't already think her stammering and stuttering made her crazy, he certainly did now.

That evening, after the bakery closed, Marinette sat at her desk, sorting through the problem. She drafted a pro/con list, starting with the cons:

Cons

Hello, Chat

Neverending puns

stammering, stuttering Ladybug

Rejection ~ ?

Okay, so she wasn't sure about the rejection part (Chat had professed his love to her every encounter for the last two years), but better to list it than be optimistically blindsided by it.

Pros

Um, hello, Chat….

Maybe that shouldn't be on both lists. Eyeing them critically, Marinette decided to leave it as it was. Her precious kitty was also a pain in the butt, although one she wouldn't ever do without.

No more secrets

Potential handholding?

Potential kissing?!

Black leather

Marinette buried her head in her hands. This list was not going in a way her mother would approve of.

Pushing back from her desk, she rolled across the floor to her chaise and unceremoniously dumped herself on it, flinging an arm across her eyes.

Okay, Marinette, try and think objectively, she told herself. On the one hand, Chat was her partner, the one person she trusted with her life. They were so in sync they didn't even have to talk anymore regarding their moves. It was a significant improvement over their first interaction, where she'd repeatedly hit him on the head and screeched with terror as she was hauled across rooftops.

She trusted him to do his part, to be a distraction while she finished battles. She didn't have to worry about him, because she knew he'd always come through. It didn't _stop_ her from worrying-especially when he went out of his way to take a hit for her-but she didn't have to.

He made ridiculous puns she simultaneously loved and hated. They were the _worst_ form of humour, but it was so him that on the rare occasion she was forced to face an akuma alone, she found herself listening for his terrible wordplay. She even found herself searching out the occasional pun to share with him, which is what led to this whole mess in the first place.

Chat was goodhearted, kind, willing to do anything she asked, and willing to call her out on her prejudice, like when facing Chloe, the Antibug. He was also willing to forgive her, never holding her mistakes over her. And he was always so concerned when she was in danger. Her shoulders still tingled with the lingering hug he'd given after he thought her eaten by a t-rex. He was marvelous.

Her fingers tapped gently against her lips, curved upward.

On the other hand, there was Adrien. Although they'd gotten off to a rocky start, she'd been nursing a raging crush ever since he gave her his umbrella in the rain. She still had that umbrella, too-would have framed it, except she didn't want to answer the inevitable queries from Alya, Maman, and Papa. That moment was too personal, too private to share.

Everything else, on the other hand…

Looking around her room, Marinette winced. Adrien's face was plastered all over her walls, and that stupid schedule was hanging from her ceiling. She didn't even need it anymore; she had the whole thing memorized. She was going to have to clean this place up if she ever wanted him to come over.

Actually, given Chat's adoration of Ladybug, she couldn't help but wonder if his room was just as plastered in Ladybug paraphernalia. How convenient for them both; crushing on someone famous with plenty of merchandise to decorate with.

Even if Adrien's decoration theme wasn't Ladybug, she knew he wouldn't mock her for her copious cutouts. He was too kind. He actually genuinely cared about Chloe, even when he was fed up with her, and he was the only one who got away with calling her out. As far as Marinette could remember, he'd never said anything unkind, and even his frustration came out with a bubble of niceness. He was the sort of person who built up the people around him, rather than tear them down.

A full-blown smile danced across Marinette's face. Really, Chat and Adrien being the same person was the best possible outcome. She already cared immensely for both boys, and now she could stop denying her growing feelings for her partner. She was in love with both sides of the boy, and it felt wonderful to embrace it.

She couldn't wait to see them- _him_ -tonight at patrol.

Patrol didn't go well.

In fact, it didn't _go_ at all.

Ladybug swung through the rooftops of Paris, brimming with confidence and excitement at confronting Chat, already envisioning their future together. Hugo, Emma, and Louis didn't seem so farfetched at the moment.

Her grin stretched from ear to ear as she landed on the roof beside Chat. "You are _paws_ itively glowing, My Lady," he said by way of greeting. "What has you in such high spirits?"

It wasn't his fault. Really, it wasn't. It's just that between his question and her brain formulating an answer, her adrenaline remembered she was talking to _Adrien_ , and she turned into a stammering mess.

"My Lady?" Chat asked in confusion, head tilting slightly, incredibly reminiscent of the cat he was. It was endearingly adorable.

"It's just um-unbearably kitty-I mean unbelievably kitty-unbecomingly _cute_ -"

She panicked and flew off, leaving a clueless Chat behind.

Hooking her yoyo around a chimney twelve streets over, Ladybug slid around the stack and rested her back against it, heart pounding and face flushing. So much for suavely telling Chat she was in love with him, and so much for that pep talk earlier about embracing Chatdrien.

She needed to talk to someone. Now.

Releasing her transformation, Tikki zipped up to eye level. "Marinette, what was that?"

"I don't know," Marinette moaned. "I thought I could handle it, Tikki, I really did, but facing him was so much harder than I anticipated!"

"Marinette," Tikki said calmly, reminding Marinette of her mother, "What's going on?"

"I found out Chat and Adrien are the same person, and I'm freaking out. A lot."

"You did?" Tikki asked. At Marinette's nod, she pulled a loo-di-loop. "Wonderful! It's about time!"

Daggers formed in Marinette's eyes. " _You knew_?" she hissed.

"Of course," Tikki replied. "I can sense Plagg whenever we're near, and it didn't take much deductive reasoning to figure out it was Adrien. Why do you think I encouraged your crush so much?"

"YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME!" Marinette shouted. "I've been nothing but a blubbering mess of humanity today! If I haven't completely warned Chatdrien away from me by my psychotic actions, then I have to wonder about his mental state because I've been nothing but crazy!"

Tikki hovered for a moment, looking pensive. Marinette tried breathing through her nose so she didn't throttle her kwami. She wasn't actually upset with Tikki, but channeling her anger at the tiny creature was a lot more attractive than dealing with her actual problems.

"I take it he doesn't know," Tikki said.

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Tikki, I can't even successfully say _hi_ to him."

Flying up close, Tikki held Marinette's gaze. "Why not?" she asked. "It's just Chat."

And if it really was just Chat, this would be manageable, but it was the combination of Chat and Adrien that was throwing her for a loop.

Ugh. She'd already had this conversation with herself; having it _again_ made her feel all sorts of pathetic. Weren't pep talks supposed to work the first time?

Marinette buried her head in her hands. "It's so much more than that, Tikki," she said. "It's trying to take two people and make them one, because they are one, but I act so differently around both his halves that combining _me_ into one person is difficult. And not at all attractive. _Spaz_ is the only word that adequately describes me, and what boy will find that attractive?"

"The one who professes his love to you every day?" Tikki said.

"Same boy I can barely talk to without the mask on," Marinette moaned. "Why couldn't I fall in love with someone I at least know how to converse with?"

"Well where's the fun in that?" Tikki teased, flitting forward to gently pat Marinette's head. "You're overthinking this. Trust your feelings, Marinette, and everything will work out."

Marinette nodded her head, inhaling deeply. Tikki was right. Just trust her feelings; instinct never led her astray.

Standing up, she stretched out her back, reaching for the stars. That's all Chat was, after all; a star. A far-flung hope she was going to claim as hers, and hold close the precious twinkling light of his heart.

"Tikki, transforme-moi!"

Covered again in her Ladybug suit, confidence rolled over her. Throwing her shoulders back, Ladybug said, "I've got this." Flinging out her yo-yo towards the next building over, a flash of Chat's bewildered face as Ladybug ran away from him crowded out her vision. Her confidence vanished, the yo-yo fell flat, and she dropped her transformation, dropping again into a crouch and burying her burning face in her hands.

"I can't do this!" she squeaked.

"Marinette!" Tikki scolded, very cross. "Quit stalling. Transforming in such quick succession is more exhausting than it looks. I can't keep this up all night!"

Lifting her head, Marinette's lower lip stuck out, her eyes wide. She was feeling a mortifying combination of shame and horror. "I just left him there, Tikki, with barely a by-your-leave. I flung myself away as if my feelings were the only ones that mattered! I am the most horrible, selfish, self-centered superhero ever to exist! How can I face him now?"

Tikki pursed her lips, giving off a very convincing image of an annoyed mother. Her little foot started tapping midair. "Are you seriously trying to tell me you're too ashamed to face him?"

"I'm the worst," Marinette moaned.

"Not facing down your troubles and apologizing for the pain you've caused is what's making you the worst!" Tikki shouted. "Now Ladybug up and go make amends like a big girl."

The complete lack of sympathy jolted through Marinette, shocking her out of her pity party. Tikki was right. Here she was, being self-centered about being self-centered, instead of apologizing to her partner and explaining.

"You're right." Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself for the upcoming confrontation. "I can do this."

Tikki stared expectantly for about 15 seconds, Marinette staring back, before Tikki said exasperatedly, "Marinette!"

"All right, all right!"

Transformed once again, Ladybug swung through the rooftops of Paris, figuring that to find her partner, she'd start where she left Chat and work her way from there. To her surprise, he was still on the roof, crouched low. His shoulders were hunched, shaggy head hanging low, and tail flopping about mournfully. Ladybug's heart lurched; it wasn't pleasant, knowing she was the cause.

Pausing a roof away, Ladybug hid behind another chimney, watching her partner. Before discovering his secret identity, she just assumed Chat was the same inside and out of the suit-chipper, too punny, and busy making everything go his way, despite his bad luck. Knowing he was Adrien changed that. He still had a blessed life: huge mansion, wealth beyond compare, personal driver, famous model-but he also struggled with loneliness and an absent father. Warmth spread throughout Ladybug's chest as she considered her spunky kitty learning how to smile and laugh despite the things going wrong in his life. Even as Adrien, he never let his lack of familial affection prevent him from being kind. He didn't let his obstacles ruin his life. She was proud of her kitty.

Leaning against the chimney, Ladybug considered the boy before her. Someone as wonderful and kind as her Chatdrien deserved someone equally as wonderful, someone who saw him for who he was-both parts-and wanted both parts. And someone who could talk to both parts like he was a human, not like he was an unattainable deity.

She wasn't that person.

Yet.

But she was going to be.

Adrien scuffed his shoe against the sidewalk as he exited the car. Halfheartedly waving goodbye to Gorilla, he hunched his shoulders to his ears, trying to pretend Ladybug's abrupt departure last night hadn't ruffled him. He'd been up late, thinking through their brief interaction over and over and over again, and he couldn't think up a single legitimate reason why she tripped over her words and left.

If he was feeling optimistic, he'd assume she developed a crush overnight, but years of experience told him his Lady put up with his flirting more than encouraged it. And she _never_ stumbled over her words-well, except that one time she caught him in the shower, but who wouldn't be embarrassed talking to someone in the shower? Not that he was actually _in_ the shower, but she hadn't known that.

For the first time since becoming Chat Noir, Adrien legitimately felt like he was surrounded by a black cloud of bad luck. All the little things of before like falling off a building, Cataclysm not working, or always falling prey to an akuma's power, were nothing compared to Ladybug _running away_ from him. It even felt worse than his father ignoring him; he at least had a baseline of compassion from his Lady.

Slinking into his desk, Adrien resisted the urge to put his head down, instead busying himself with notebooks and pencils. What he really wanted to do was find a patch of sunlight and curl up in it, letting nature warm away his melancholy, but he sat on the opposite side of the room from the windows, not to mention everyone would find his feline actions strange.

It was really hard not to jut out his lower lip and pout.

"Good morning, Adrien."

Adrien tilted his head up at the quiet voice. Marinette gave him a small smile as she walked back to her seat. Adrien was suddenly grateful he hadn't been pouting like a toddler. No one could ever replace his Lady, but he was willing to admit he housed a small attachment to his quiet classmate, and if circumstances were different, he might have had a crush on her. He wasn't sure he could stand the shame of Marinette seeing him act so childlike.

"Hey," he replied in much the same tone.

Actually, now that he gave a moment's thought to it, Ladybug stammered like Marinette usually did. That was depressing. Ever since Marinette caught him scraping off Chloe's gum from her seat and assumed he was the perpetrator, she'd avoided him like the plague. She couldn't even form complete sentences around him, her disdain was so powerful. It had lessened somewhat over time, but she still couldn't manage to look him in the eye or hold an entire conversation with him. Honestly, he thought he'd mended that bridge with the umbrella incident, and later with the gamer incident and the incident with her uncle-that was a lot of incidents. Maybe Marinette didn't like him now because she associated him with akumas.

Which, to be fair, was on point.

So if Ladybug was now stammering like Marinette, did that mean he'd done something to offend her? Or associate him with danger-danger to her, that is, and not danger surrounding an akuma?

Or maybe it _was_ danger regarding an akuma. How many times now had he been turned to help with their mad quests of passion? Reflekta, the Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Dislocoeur…

His shoulders slumped even further.

"Yo, _dude_ ," Nino said, shoving his shoulder hard. Adrien tilted his head sideways to glance at his friend. "I've called your name, like, six times. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," Adrien said despondently.

"Really? 'Cause after that awful joke yesterday, I thought for sure you'd come flying in here with another one, and instead you're sitting there like your dad cancelled another birthday party. Wait, did he? But your birthday's not even for another four months."

"No, no, nothing's wrong with my dad. Well, nothing unusual, anyway." Nino looked at him expectantly. Adrien sighed, giving in to gravity and dropping his head on the table. "Something happened with my friend, and now she's not talking to me."

"The same friend with the crappy silk worm joke?"

Tears prickled at the back of Adrien's eyes as he nodded. How could Ladybug go from being so friendly to so cold in one day?

"Dude, that's lame. Sorry, bro."

Marinette dropped her books on the table behind them, causing both boys to jump.

"Sorry," she whispered.

Adrien zoned back out, barely paying attention when Alya greeted him. He didn't even process Chloe's overexuberant presence.

Taking notes distracted him briefly, until he noticed he'd been doodling sad ladybugs on the margins of his notes. Each box(1) was the perfect size for a tiny ladybug, boxing her in completely and leaving no room for a little chat noir to nudge his way in.

This was pathetic. One little tiff and he was moping over his paper like he'd lost a parent. Maybe instead of whining over pathetic little Chat Noir, poor me nobody likes me, he should consider talking to His Lady and clearing the air. It wasn't like Ladybug to shut him out. Well, unless he was trying to flirt with her, but she never shut _him_ out, just his advances. Whatever caused her to run off might even be completely unrelated to him.

Straightening his shoulders, he determined to call her tonight and make sure everything was okay.

As class broke for lunch, ever-observant Marinette touched his shoulder on her way out. "Chin up, Adrien," she said softly. "Things are better than they seem."

Huh. Maybe she didn't hate him, either. He was beginning to wonder if he understood the females in his life at all.

Ladybug landed softly next to him that evening, demeanor reserved. Chat Noir nearly lost his nerve, but the memory of misery from that morning prompted him to open his mouth.

"Did I-"

"I'm sorry for last night," she interrupted, staring over Paris, face impassive. "I saw you, freaked out, and bolted."

He hadn't expected her to apologize. It threw him off kilter; he'd only planned out asking her if he disappointed her somehow, prod her towards admitting whatever he'd done so _he_ could apologize. Now what?

Well, he still had no idea what happened, so why not stick to the plan?

"My Lady," he started, halting at she turned her blue blue eyes towards him. Stars, but she was pretty. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Did I...did I do something to disappoint you?"

Her face softened and her lips curled up the bittiest of bits. "Oh Kitty," she breathed, reaching out to scratch under his chin. "Never."

The rest of the weight Chat'd been carrying on his shoulders all day disappeared under her gentle reassurance. At least it hadn't been him, and now she was touching him casually, his favorite thing. All of the day's worry and disappointment and anxiety were replaced by deep-seated contentment. Rolling back his shoulders, Chat puffed out his chest. He could face down the world so long as His Lady was happy with him.

"Race you around the rooftops of Paris?" he asked.

A full-blown smile coated her face. "Last one to Tour Montparnasse faces the next akuma alone." She took off, not even waiting for a response, but it's not like she needed one; he'd follow her anywhere.

Two hours, three near-falls, the Tour Montparnasse, l'Arc de Triomphe, and a lot of laughter later, the two superheroes sat atop their favorite monument, the symbol of all Paris. Ladybug's cheeks were pinked with exertion, and Chat was sure his matched. It had been a while since they'd just had fun.

"Pretty sure you tried to drown me at the Pont des Arts," he said, nudging her shoulder with his.

"It is the only way to get rid of a pesky cat," she replied, eyes twinkling.

"But without me, who would light up your world with humor?"

"Anyone else," she said, eyes rolling.

"Aw, Bugaboo, I thought you were starting to appreciate puns. You gave me that delightful one two nights back about silk worms."

She didn't say anything, her smile gradually dwindling to contentment as she looked out over Paris. Chat perched beside her, tail swinging, happy to be in her presence. He would spend every evening this way, if he could.

"Chat, may I ask you something?"

He tilted his head, looking at her in profile. Her nose was the tiniest, cutest, most kissable thing he'd ever seen. Someday he was going to indulge this desire, and her whole face would flush with pleasure before she kissed him in return, and then they'd spend a pleasant evening getting lost in each other, making out until the sun set and the moon rose.

"Chat?"

Blinking out of his reverie, Chat blushed at Ladybug catching him daydreaming. "Yes, My Lady?"

A light smirk stole across her lips. "Lost in thought?" She waggled her eyebrows at him, and his heart nearly stopped.

He was _never_ admitting to what crossed his mind at that moment.

"You said you had a question?"

Her playful demeanor dropped, replaced instead by contemplation. "I need some advice."

"You've come to the right cat! You'll never end up in a _cat_ astrophe with advice from this hero."

She shoved him with her shoulder over his pun. Chat just grinned wider.

"I need boy advice."

His grin dropped, as did his stomach.

 _Oh_.

Maybe _that's_ why she ran away yesterday. It's not that he did something, but she did, and she knew he wasn't going to be happy about it, because she knew how he felt about her and she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

But it's not like he had claim on her. They'd never made any commitment, so she held no obligation to him whatsoever. She was free to pursue any boy she liked, no matter how unhappy it made him. And shouldn't he feel honored that she came to him for advice? That she trusted him enough with her heart to know he wouldn't do anything to damage it, even if that meant handing her over to someone else?

Yes, he should feel honored, but no, he didn't. He wanted her to want him. But he was never, ever, ever going to tell her that, even if she already knew. He was going to pretend to be a positive and supportive partner, even if his fake smile curdled his insides.

"What about?" he finally asked.

There was a light smile on her lips, as if she knew his thought processes and found it amusing. Honestly, that hurt more. He didn't want to be the source of her amusement. He wanted to be the source of her happiness.

Get it together, Chat, he told himself. You do make her happy. Remember that fantastic race through Paris you just participated in? All that happy, glowing smile-business was because of you. Enjoy what you have and don't pine for more-at least not in front of her. Save it for your bedroom where only Plagg will mock you.

He really needed new friends.

"So, there's this boy I like," Ladybug started, propping her chin on her hand. "I have a massive crush on him, and my civilian best friend is always pushing me to confess. I recently found something out about him that makes me like him even more, and I think it's about time I did something about it."

This was terrible. His Lady was already in love? And from the sound of it, had been for a while? Chat had never had a prayer of being with her, did he?

But wait-the boy didn't know? That meant Chat could give bad advice and sabotage any chance His Lady had of finding love!

Okay, even he was smart enough to know that was a bad idea.

"So what do you need advice about?" Chat asked, pretending it was a perfectly normal question between perfectly platonic friends, and not the biggest panic-inducing question of his life.

"How do boys feel about a girl asking them out?"

 _Please yes,_ he wanted to shout, but he knew she wasn't talking about him. He took a moment to think through his answer, figuring she deserved the best one he could possibly come up with. "Don't do it."

Her brow knit. "Why not?"

"We don't like it. Unless you are 100% positive he's madly in love with you, don't do it." A strange little smirk crossed her face, but he couldn't interpret it. "We talk big about being okay with girls doing it, but we only like it if we already like her. Otherwise, you'll lose any chance you had of him liking you back."

Ladybug wrinkled her nose in thought. Chat started sweating behind his ears; she was _killing_ him with how cute she was. "So if I can't ask him out, what do I do instead?"

"Flirt with him."

She tossed him a skeptical glance. "That actually works?"

"It lets him know you're interested, and if he's interested, he knows he can ask you out. If he isn't interested, it's the best way to get him interested."

"Seriously? Just like that? Flirting?"

"My Lady," he said painfully, "if you ever flirted with me, I'd…" he trailed off, her telling blush showing she understood.

"Huh," she breathed in reply, not looking at him. A pregnant silence stretched between them as Chat considered the merits of what he'd just admitted to. It's not like she didn't know, but knowing and saying were too entirely different things, and it was awfully hard to unsay something. He was just going to have to hope she never mentioned this moment ever again.

Ladybug reached over and chucked him under the chin. "Thanks, Kitty," she said, breaking the awkwardness. "I hope you know you're my favorite cat."

And if that was all he ever got from her, for now it was enough. Just knowing that she cared warmed his soul, soothing the hurt of his cold home.

School. It was getting weird.

"Good morning, Adrien!" Marinette greeted, startling Adrien into awareness of his surroundings. Marinette was smiling at him. She wasn't stumbling. She wasn't stammering. She didn't fall over. For the second day in a row.

Weird.

"Good morning," he cautiously replied, returning her smile. His eyes followed her all the way to her seat, forgetting that staring was rude. She either didn't notice or didn't mind as she didn't chastise him or demand to know what was up, creeper.

"Yo, bro, what's up?" Nino slid into the seat next to him.

Adrien jerked his head around, staring at his best friend, not quite sure how to verbalize how unsettling it was that Marinette was acting normal, especially in the face of dealing with Ladybug's crush. While his heart was in turmoil, he needed everything else around him to stay exactly the same, and the fact that Marinette was suddenly talking to him was tearing at the fabric of his reality.

"Adrien?" Nino asked, concern starting to slide onto his face.

Adrien shook his head. This was ridiculous. He couldn't get bent out of shape just because Marinette said good morning two days in a row. "Yeah, Nino, I'm fine. Just...lost in thought."

Nino gave him a look, part knowing and part judgmental.

Alya came bounding in, tossing a haphazard greeting at the two boys before whipping out her phone to shove in Marinette's face. "Holy Hell, Mari, look at the video I got last night of Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

"Wow," Marinette said. "That really does look amazing."

"Seriously!" Alya crowed. "They were flinging themselves all over rooftops last night. It was, by far, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Girl, you don't even _know_."

Adrien tucked an amused smile into the collar of his shirt. The girls may not _know_ , but he sure did.

"Dude, lemme see!" Nino said, trying swipe Alya's phone. "How come this hasn't come up on the Ladyblog?"

"You read the Ladyblog?" Alya asked in disbelief, handing her phone over to Marinette to keep it away from Nino's prying hands.

"Babe, I read _everything_ you write."

Alya gave him the flattest look. "Like my horror movie script."

"Yeah, exactly!"

"Which is why you tried adding a kissing scene," she said even flatter.

Adrien turned so he was half-facing Marinette and shared a grin with her. Her cheeks pinked up nicely, which he assumed came from the strain of being nice to him. Then her face flushed bright red and she dropped her eyes, actively scrolling through Alya's phone in an attempt to be busy. Adrien sighed; it had been nice while it lasted.

Nino's and Alya's argument continued for several more minutes as the rest of the class filed in. Adrien nodded and greeted most of them, although he pretended to bend down and tie his shoe when Chloe came in. He was not in the mood to be polite while she tried to claim him.

He sighed again. Was it too much to ask, really, for Ladybug to want to claim him? What did this crush of hers have that he didn't have? Could her crush fly across the rooftops of Paris? Could her crush balance perfectly on a rod the diameter of a 20 cent piece? Did her crush look as stunningly handsome in black leather?

Red crept up to his hairline. Okay, he _really_ didn't want to know if Ladybug could answer that question.

Pull it together, he told himself irritably. The last thing you are going to do is lose Ladybug's friendship or trust over petty jealousy. She means more to you than that.

"Um," Marinette said, drawing the eyes of Adrien, Alya, and Nino. She rarely tried to speak when all four of them were together. "I was wondering...Um, yes. Friday. Tomorrow. After school. Are you three free? Want to come over? We can play video games, or just hang out, and my parents make really good pâtisseries."

Silence reigned as three jaws dropped, gaping at the quiet girl. Adrien couldn't quite believe his ears. Marinette really was trying to get over that whole gum incident-maybe over all the akuma incidents, too.

"Hello?" Marinette said, waving her hand. "Is that a yes, or are all three of you trying to figure out how to politely say no? Or have you turned into potted plants? Because I'm not above decorating my room with life-like figures of my friends."

Adrien's face lit up with a smile. _Friend_. And she used it, not him. It went a long way towards alleviating his Ladybug misery.

"Of course we'll be there, girl," Alya said, pulling Marinette into a hug. "Your first grown up playdate! I'm so proud."

Marinette pushed back, wrinkling her nose. It was, without doubt, the cutest thing he'd seen since his meetup with Ladybug last night. His heart skipped the tiniest bit.

"What do you mean _we?"_ Nino asked, turning to look at Alya. "Adrien and I can answer for ourselves!"

"Of course you can," Alya said, "and you're both going to say yes, because Marinette asked and who are we to deny our class president who works tirelessly for us and has finally decided to let go, just the eensiest bit, and relax with some friends?"

"What if I had plans?" Nino shot back, clearly arguing for the sake of argument. Adrien knew for a fact the only thing his best friend had scheduled for the weekend was finishing his homework. "Maybe I've got a sweet DJ gig, and have to respectfully turn Mari down!"

"If that were the case," Alya retorted, "instead of inviting us over, Marinette would have enthusiastically suggested we all show up to your gig together."

Adrien shook his head. He knew his two friends were into each other, even if they weren't officially dating-no one quite knew what they were doing, but everyone knew they were off the market-but he didn't understand their constant bickering.

Turning to Marinette, he smiled and said, "Sure, I'll be there."

She definitely blushed, her face going as pink as her pants, and again Adrien was struck with how cute it was. Turning back around, he shook his head, dispelling the thought. No matter how cute Marinette was, Ladybug owned his heart.

Of course, Ladybug was actively courting somebody else. He sighed for a third time. Damn his tunnel vision. He really needed a distraction, and Mari's gathering tomorrow would (hopefully) be just the thing.

"I took your advice and didn't ask him out," Ladybug said that evening as patrol wound down. They didn't usually patrol everyday like this, but she called him up earlier citing a need to expend some energy. Now that she was finally talking, however, Chat suspected she really just wanted to talk about her crush. He held in a longsuffering sigh; she would not appreciate it.

Honestly, didn't she have real life friends she could crush-gush with and leave his poor suffering heart alone in its misery?

"So you did...nothing?" Chat asked.

Ladybug smiled, the lights of Paris dancing in her eyes. "No, I definitely did something; I just didn't ask him out."

Chat knew this was his opportunity to ask what she did, to be a good friend and support Ladybug in her endeavors. He knew that's what she was expecting. Why else would she be telling him all this? Now if he could just make his tongue work and spew forth some well-meant sincerities, then they might go on pretending this whole encounter wasn't painfully awkward.

But what to say? _I'm so glad you didn't ask him out_ , while sincere, wasn't well-meant. _So you did something else?_ , while well-meant, wouldn't be sincere.

He went with, "Eh?"

He knew his father should have put him into acting school instead of modeling school.

"I invited him and a couple of our mutual friends over," she said, eyes merry.

"Huh," he said, frantically trying to come up with an appropriately encouraging response. "One of my friends did the same to me, although minus the crush." Well, at least it was on-topic. Showing empathy; that was a thing, wasn't it?

Ladybug didn't appear to be the slightest bit disappointed. If anything, she grew smug. "I hope you said yes," she said coyly.

What was going on? Her tone of voice definitely did _not_ match the situation at hand. Being coy was reserved for things like flirting, which she definitely was not doing, given she was talking about asking someone else out-or _not_ asking him out, as the case was. Still, not appropriate.

Unless she _was_ flirting with him.

Chat's heart sped up as he considered the situation. Ladybug was definitely acting coy, and she definitely did not act coy. He was pretty sure she was flirting, which he'd told her just yesterday to do if she wanted to get a boy interested in her; practically in the same breath, he told her he would die a happy man death if she ever flirted with him.

But she was also busy telling him all about her crush and how much she wanted his attention. So did that mean…?

Could _Chat_ be her crush?

But if Chat was her crush, why not just tell him? She already knew he was essentially a slavering fool at her feet. One crook of her pinky, and he'd come flying through the air, ready to please.

And if Ladybug was busy crushing on him, and she'd asked her crush to hang out, that would make her-

Marinette.

That would make her Marinette.

Chat shook his head; his thoughts were getting crazy. He liked Marinette, sure; a lot, even, but she was no Ladybug. Plus, he'd seen her and Ladybug in the same place at the same time before. Not to mention he would have noticed if Ladybug was in his class; his internal Ladybug detector would be going haywire.

Not to mention Marinette was quiet.

She stammered a lot.

She'd been targeted by more than one Akuma.

He'd been to her house and bakery more than once for official Chat business.

Her best friend ran the Ladyblog, and Alya could sniff out a scoop a kilometer away.

Yeah, there was no way his sweet-tempered classmate was his vivacious partner. His imagination was getting the better of him, probably taking advantage of his desperation.

"Of course I said yes," he replied to Ladybug. "What kind of friend would I be otherwise?"

"A busy one?" she returned, still unnecessarily amused. It was a little unnerving.

"Do you know something I don't know?" he asked uneasily. "You just keep...there's this expression on your face. It's a little terrifying, My Lady."

"Is it, now?" Ladybug asked, amusement still there.

She stared him down, her merry eyes never wavering. Chat didn't know what to make of the situation.

So he did what he did best: flirt.

"Aw, is My Lady finally warming up to me?" he purred, rubbing shoulders with her in his best imitation of a cat. "I'd be kitten you if I said I minded."

Ladybug bopped him on the nose as she pushed him away. "I should really invest in a squirt bottle," she laughed, "and train you to sit."

He looked dolefully up at her. "My Lady would have kittens if I started acting like a puppy."

She punched his shoulder lightly. "Stop that."

He mrowed. She wrinkled her nose, reaching out to ruffle his hair behind his ears. Chat was loving all the unsolicited touching. "I like my kitty just the way he is," she said affectionately, "but now I must take leave of him. I still have homework to do, and I'm finding I function better at school when I get a full night's sleep. I'll see you later, Chat." Slinging her yo-yo around a nearby chimney, she flung herself off the roof and away into the night. Staring at her retreating form, Chat released a sigh. She made his life brighter, and her exit always left things feeling a bit dim.

Extending his baton, Chat made the short trek back to his cold, empty mansion. His father may be out of commission, but at least his life wasn't destitute. He had his clandestine meetings with Ladybug, and he had his friends. Flying in through his window, he detransformed as he leapt onto his bed, Plagg falling down beside him.

"You know, Plagg, I'm looking forward to hanging out at Marinette's on Friday."

"Whatever. Just grab me cheese," the tired kwami grumbled.

Leaning back on the bed, Adrien propped his head up on his arms, leaving Plagg to find his own cheese. While Ladybug hung out with her friends, he'd be hanging out with his friends. It was almost as good as hanging out with her outside the mask.

"Oh, My Lady," Adrien breathed.

A piece of camembert flew at his head from his desk along with a cry of, "You're cheesier than I am!"

"PLAGG!"

Marinette was a wreck.

"Calm down before you give yourself a hernia," Maman said, watching her daughter run around the living room, plumping up pillows before deciding to toss them on the floor, then changing her mind and putting them back on the couch. Pace thirty seconds, reconsider, plump the pillows, repeat.

"But Maman, they're going to be here soon and I need this house to be perfect!" Marinette half screeched amidst a pile of pillows. Did Adrien like pillows on his couch? It's not like she'd ever had occasion to question him about his couch preferences before. It didn't exactly come up during patrol, nor had she ever thought to bring it up. Her friends needed a place to sit, so the pillows should definitely be on the floor. But what if Adrien liked holding a pillow while he sat? She and Alya liked to hug one, so he should have access. Maybe just one pillow on the couch? But it looked lopsided. Both ends needed a pillow, or neither end. She couldn't have Adrien thinking she didn't know how to balance a room.

Oh, blanket! What if he got cold? It's not like he had all the superpowers of Chat to carry him through the day, and sitting around playing games could be chilly! Unless he really got into it. Then he wouldn't need a blanket, so she shouldn't have one around to get in his way.

This entire affair was going to go poorly, she just knew it, and then she'd never get to fall in love with both sides of him and he wouldn't get to fall in love with both sides of her and then where would that leave them?

Memories of their last patrol flashed through her mind, bringing on a blush. Chat had been borderline uncomfortable when he pulled a one-eighty and started flirting, getting a little too close for comfort. Not that it was _un_ comfortable; it was just...unsettling. Unneccessary. Unexpected. Her little heart hadn't been prepared for his sudden touch. Not that he hadn't touched her before; he just hadn't touched her before when she was trying not to put her hands all over him. Not that he would have objected, but _she_ would, because he didn't know who she was yet, and she didn't want anyone getting handsy until they'd cleared a few things up, like the fact that she was in love with him and really wanted to to kiss him until he turned blue.

He'd just been so _cute_ sitting there, staring up at her through his lashes and making bad puns.

Marinette picked up a pillow and buried her face in it, willing away the sudden heat streaking her cheeks.

"Honey," Maman said from her place at the counter, "Adrien is human just like the rest of us. He puts his pants on one leg at a time, same as you and me."

Except when he put his pants on via a silver ring. Did a catsuit count as pants?

"Plus he's a boy. He'll probably only notice a pillow if you throw it in his face."

Pillow fight. Not a good idea for Marinette's stability, but awfully tempting as an excuse for touching.

"Marinette, sweetie," Maman continued, "you need to calm down. You want Adrien to like you for you, not because your house is artfully arranged."

"But Maman, this _is_ what I'm like. I'm pretty sure I freak out over everything. Alya has plenty of anecdotal evidence to prove it."

"As do I," her mother replied, sporting a fond smile. "All the same, you don't want to overwhelm the poor boy with it up front. Ease him in. Prove you can construct a sentence."

"I can construct a sentence," Marinette said indignantly. "He's witnessed it, more than once! We even had real conversations when Uncle came to visit, and we functioned when he came over to practice for the video game tournament."

"So act like that."

"Can't. Too much is at stake here," Marinette moaned. Convincing Chatdrien to give her a chance was the single most important thing in her life at the moment. It even topped defeating Hawkmoth.

Okay, maybe not that, but it was _really_ close.

Maman affectionately ruffled Marinette's hair, dispensing with the motherly advice for the moment. Marinette eyed her mound of pillows, and decided her mother was right. Plucking them from the floor, she dashed up the stairs to her room and tossed the pillows on her chaise. At least she didn't have to worry about cleaning up her room; the plan was to stay downstairs all evening, taking up space in the living room. But what if Adrien needed to come up to her room for something? Just in case, she should probably take down all the posters of his face. But what if he never made it up? That would negate all the effort into pulling down the incriminating evidence.

But wasn't the whole purpose of this gathering to make him fall in love with her? Would it really be so bad, then, if he had reason to come upstairs and saw his face plastered all over everything? At least he'd finally have an inkling as to her feelings.

Then again, wouldn't it be creepy to see his face all over her walls? But his face was plastered all over Paris, so it wouldn't be that different than being outside. But what if he found it creepy inside one lone girl's room? But it couldn't be that unusual; she was far from the only girl in the city with a crush on the young model. Except he probably hadn't been in the other girls' rooms to see the obsession.

Think this through rationally, Marinette. If you take the posters downs, you won't worry about him walking in and seeing something embarrassing. If you leave them up, you'll be fretting about it all night, and the little part of you that wants him to know will look for a ridiculous excuse to send him up.

That's it, then; I'll take them all down but one. That way I won't stress, and if he happens to find the one, so be it.

It was a matter of minutes to pull down the posters with Tikki's help, leaving only one up. The tiny kwami kindly refrained from chastising Marinette, but sent enough judgmental looks Marinette's way that there was no doubt what the silence really meant.

Marinette was standing alone at the counter, her mother having returned to the bakery, debating pulling food out or leaving it in the fridge, when Alya threw open the front door and walked in with both boys. "Hey, girl!" she said. "Look what the cat dragged in." Marinette nearly choked on her own spit, a great way to start of her evening of convincing Adrien she was worth his time.

A smirk crossed Adrien's lips at Alya's comment, gone almost before it appeared. A soft blush dusted Marinette's cheeks; if she thought she'd been attracted to just Adrien, well, it was _nothing_ compared to seeing Chat's smirk on that angelic face.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Marinette asked after greeting her friends, erratically fanning her face. Realizing how ridiculous that sounded, she hastened to add, "I mean, I've been running around cleaning up-" definitely _not_ having hot flashes regarding her crush- "so my temperature's probably a bit elevated, so it probably is just me, but I feel like I have to ask-"

"Ooh, are those mini pain au chocolat?" Alya interrupted, reaching around Marinette to grab one. "I love these! Boys, eat. Marinette's dad is the best baker in Paris."

Adrien and Nino didn't need to be told twice, jostling each other as they approached the counter. It amazed Marinette how she'd never before seen the Chat swagger in Adrien, but now it was so obvious, if severely subdued, as he and Nino picked on each other while stuffing their faces.

"Girl, are you going to be okay?" Alya whispered in Marinette's ear, yanking her attention back from her one true love. "Because that was gearing up to be one heck of a ramble."

"Probably not," Marinette whispered back. "I'm something of a walking human disaster. My mom can describe in painful detail how much I agonized over couch pillows before telling me he was just a person."

Shaking her head, Alya bumped hips with her. "Just please try to not pass out. If you do, I'll tell Adrien why he's really here, and you won't be conscious to stop me."

"Thanks for your help," Marinette groused.

After a brief pop-in from her parents to greet the boys, Marinette ushered her friends to the couch (Adrien neither noticed the lack of pillows nor asked for one) and set up Ultimate Mecha Strike III.

"Can we put a time limit on this?" Alya asked. "I don't want to be stuck beating each other up all night; I want a game with story."

"But that's boring!" Nino said. "Feelings and emotions get in the way of beating the crap out of each other. We should play Ultimate Mecha Strike III all night long, baby."

"Ugh, boys," Alya said.

"You're playing with two boys," Nino pointed out.

"And _you're_ playing with two _girls,_ " Alya shot back.

"But Marinette loves this game, so you're outvoted 3 to 1."

"Do not put me in the middle of your couple squabbles," Marinette said, leaning away from the two.

"We're not a couple," Alya insisted.

"Yes, we are," Nino said.

"Look, one accidental admission does not a relationship make-"

"No take backsies, we established that in the cage-"

"-won't be forced into-"

"-wouldn't change your mind-"

With a roll of her eyes, Marinette vacated her spot beside Alya and squished in between Adrien and the sofa arm. "I'm sitting by the sane one," she announced, but neither Alya nor Nino heeded her statement, continuing their argument uninterrupted. Adrien smiled at her, his green eyes catching the light, momentarily rendering her breathless. Stars, but he was beautiful.

Handing Adrien a controller, Marinette picked her character as he picked his. It reminded her forcefully of when he came over to train for the tournament, and she blushed remembering the way their hands brushed against each other. What she wouldn't give for another moment like that, a moment which led to hand holding and then cuddling and then a steamy makeout-

 _Stop it, Marinette_ , she scolded herself in her best inner-Tikki voice. She would never get anywhere with her kitty if she got lost in day dreams.

The first round passed in silence between the two. Marinette knew it was awkward, but what was she supposed to say? _I want to make out with you_ , while honest, would be far more likely to frighten him off. She had to ease in slowly, start with a safe, game-related topic.

Glancing at her crush out of the corner of her eye, Marinette spied her lucky charm bracelet on his arm. A soft smile tugged at her lips. "I see you're still using my bracelet," she said as she handily destroyed his character. "Too bad it's not doing you any good."

"Oh, it does plenty of good," Adrien replied, smile on his face. "You're just so much better than me that it _seems_ like it's not doing any good. When I go up against Nino or Alya, you'll see."

The argument on the other end of the couch ceased. "Did you just say my name?" Alya asked, pushing Nino against the back of the couch ("Ow! Babe!").

"Adrien was just telling me how he was going to crush you," Marinette said, reaching across both boys to pass her controller to her best friend. "I think it's time he put his money where his mouth is."

"Of course he's going to crush me," Alya said, taking the controller and pressing random buttons. "I've only played this game, like, twice. How do I select a character?"

"Babe, you're embarrassing me," Nino said, putting his hands around Alya's and guiding her through the motions.

"Yeah, I don't think defeating Alya will prove the effectiveness of my charm," Marinette said. Adrien just grinned at her, quickly mopping the floor with their friend.

For the next hour or so, the four teens tossed controllers back and forth, battling each other to smack talk and victorious crows. Marinette managed to keep her awkward in check and shared three smiles with Adrien, two of which he instigated. Success.

While Adrien took on Nino, Marinette melted back into the couch to observe her partner. As he focused on the battle at hand, his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth and his eyes narrowed in concentration. Marinette had seen that face at least a dozen times, usually accompanied by one closed eye as Chat estimated distances. She hadn't really appreciated how much effort Chat put into his job, focusing more on his teasing ways. Her kitty deserved better; he worked just as hard as she did, if not more.

Her thoughts drifted to all the times Chat flung himself in harm's way so Ladybug wouldn't be hurt. Sometimes it was a minor hit, nothing of consequence, but sometimes he took a serious beating, once even being erased from existence. Chat had told her more than once that his primary goal was to protect her so she could defeat the akuma.

She hoped not being able to cleanse an akuma didn't make Chat feel unimportant. He may not have the healing power she did, but more often than not, she wouldn't make it to cleansing the city without her kitty's efforts. Besides taking hits for her, he was attuned to her way of thinking, often catching on to her plans with few or no words, preventing the akumas from being prepared for her attack.

Next time she patrolled with her partner, Marinette was going to make sure he knew how much she appreciated him.

"Um, Marinette?" Adrien asked, snapping her out of her reverie. "Are you okay? You were staring."

Heat engulfed her face. "Sorry, just...you concentrating reminded me of someone."

"Me, maybe?" he suggested, eyebrows going up and small smile crossing his lips.

He had no idea how correct he was.

Nudging his shoulder, Marinette replied, "Yes, I thought to myself 'wow, concentrating Adrien sure looks like concentrating Adrien.' _So_ glad I made that connection."

His smile morphed into a more genuine smile. If Marinette wasn't already blushing, she would be now.

"You never know; maybe you thought back to last time I was at your house, letting you kick my butt at this game."

Which made her think of how many times her parents had popped their nosey heads in under the guise of bringing food, while in reality checking to see if their daughter's crush had made a move yet. The remembered humiliation was almost too much to bear.

At least Adrien hadn't picked up on the reason for their intrusions; she would have died if he had. For that matter, she never had any plans on telling him now, either; Chat-Adrien-would never let her live it down if he knew she was crushing on him so badly her _parents_ were rooting for them.

Behind Adrien, Nino soundly defeated Alya again, crowing in triumph. Alya threw her controller against her not-boyfriend (he was so her boyfriend) and announced, "I'm bored of this game. Let's play something else."

Breaking eye contact with Adrien, Marinette leaned around him and said, "Okay. I have Dragon Age, Mario Kart, Yoshi's Woolly World, Assassin's Cree-"

"No, no, not another video game," Alya interrupted. "I want to play Truth."

The boys gave Alya blank stares, but Marinette's narrowed in consideration. Truth was better than Truth or Dare, but much more dangerous.

"What the crap is that?" Nino asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like," Alya said. "It's Truth or Dare without the dare. We ask each other questions, and you _have_ to tell the truth. Lying, even by omission, is strictly prohibited."

"Well where's the fun in that?" Nino said. "The whole point of Truth or Dare is to get your bros to do some wacky shit and avoid awkward truthtelling."

Alya rolled her eyes. "How like a boy to only want to do crazy stunts, undervaluing the importance of learning things about your friends."

Nino shrugged, leaning back against the couch and propping his arms along the back, one dangerously close to Alya's shoulders. Nodding at Adrien, he said, "She pretty much nailed that on the head. Am I right, dude?"

Adrien cocked his head to the side in a surprisingly cat-like fashion. Marinette had to sit on her hands to keep from reaching up to scratch behind where his Chat ears would be. "I don't know. Alya's got a point. We could learn an awful lot about each other."

An awful lot, like secret crushes and secret identities. Marinette's heart started pounding, a thousand scenarios running through her head of all the uncomfortable ways Adrien could find out her two secrets. This would not do; her ultimate goal may be for him to know everything and for her to confess her feelings, but that would be happening on her own terms, _not_ Alya's.

"I'm game," Marinette said, fingers starting to lose feeling as she sat on them, "but I propose a few rules."

"Rules," Alya said flatly.

"Yes, rules," Marinette replied, giving her best friend a pointed look. "No intentionally embarrassing questions, like asking about a crush, and everyone gets one pass for a question they really don't want to answer."

"A pass!" Alya exclaimed. "That's no fun. You're handing everyone a get-out-of-jail-free card."

"I know."

"I like it," Adrien said, staving off the impending argument, but not Marinette's gloating smile. "Everyone has certain topics which are too sensitive to be addressed, and they deserve to be kept private."

Knowing Adrien's private topics were the same as hers turned Marinette's smile from gloating to genuine. For the first time, she felt a thrill of excitement at the prospect of him knowing who she really was. Finally she'd have a partner in averting tense subjects, someone to back her up when others got a little too close to her Ladybug secrets. Maybe she could start lying a little less often, too, because he could always be her excuse.

Now she just had to get to the point where she was ready to tell him. Just thinking about it brought her blush back tenfold; clearly she wasn't there yet.

"Fine," Alya said, conceding with a huff. "Are you in or not, Nino?"

His arm draped across the couch had inched closer to Alya's shoulder during the rules discussion. Seeing it retreat slightly reminded Marinette that she was losing feeling in her arms. Deeming Adrien's hair safe from her wandering hands, she pulled them out from under her, rubbing life back into her tingling appendages. "I guess," Nino said. "If you can play Ultimate Mecha Strike without complaining, I can pretend I care about all of your truths."

Alya bumped his shoulder, causing his hand to drop atop of her shoulder, which she noticeably did not remove. Marinette made a mental note to grill her best friend later about the nature of the relationship she claimed not to have.

"I'll start," Alya announced. "Adrien, first question is for you: what's your guilty pleasure?"

Adrien hardly waited for Alya to finish speaking before saying, "Puns." Marinette barely held back a roll of her eyes.

"Puns?"

"Yup," he said happily, "puns. Especially cat puns. Feline down isn't possible when I'm being amewsed with puns."

"And my _pun_ ishment is hearing them," Marinette said, releasing that eye roll.

Adrien turned to look at her, head cocked aside again. "Really?" he said, "because I don't think I've ever made one in front of you."

Images of every nightly patrol and akuma battle flashed through Marinette's head, along with all of Chat's quips.

" _It was a knightmare!"_

" _Meowch!"_

" _That was a catastrophe."_

" _I'm feline more generous than usual, so cool down and we'll call it quits."_

" _You just won yourself a cat fight."_

" _Am I.._.bug _ging you?"_

Not to mention the pun which started this madness: _Two silk worms are in a race. They end in a tie._

"I've met Chat Noir," Marinette said. "Trust me; I've heard plenty." Adrien gave her a grin so wide, Marinette ducked her head to hide her massive blush. Really, it's like he was _trying_ to make her turn red.

Oh. Even if he wasn't now, once he found out who she really was, he'd spend all of their time together trying to make her blush. He wouldn't even have to try very hard; a well-placed eyebrow waggle or any form of physical contact would do her in. Maybe she needed to rethink this identity reveal situation.

"Now what?" Adrien asked.

"You successfully answered your Truth, so you get to ask the next one," Alya said.

"Hmm," Adrien said, tapping his lips. Marinette's temperature spiked again. Okay, so maybe the physical contact between her and him wasn't a requirement for her blushing. Watching his elegant fingers tap his kissable mouth took her mind down pathways her mother _definitely_ wouldn't approve of. "Nino,"' Adrien finally said, zeroing in on his best friend, "when was the last time you actually asked Alya out instead of telling her she loved you?"

"Man, bro, you're harsh," Nino said, dropping his head. Squaring his shoulders, he turned to face Alya. "Want to go out with me tomorrow?"

"No," Alya replied while Nino pulled a face. "I'm busy. This is why you're supposed to plan ahead. I don't just sit at home waiting for you to call."

"But you do sit at home waiting for akuma attacks so you can track down Ladybug and Chat Noir," Nino said.

"True," Alya replied, "but they're pretty reliable, because even if an akuma attack isn't happening, they can be found patrolling Paris Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."

Huh. If Alya had picked up on their patrol schedule, it wasn't too far of a stretch to imagine Hawkmoth figuring it out. Perhaps it was time to shake things up a bit.

"My turn to ask?" Nino asked. At everyone's murmured _yes_ , he turned to Alya and said, "Alya, will you go out with me on Sunday? I know you're not busy because our favorite superheroes won't be patrolling."

Alya rolled her eyes as she leaned in to Nino. "I pretty much handed you that one, didn't I?"

"Just answer the question."

"Fine."

"Fine _yes_ or fine _you'll answer the question_?"

"Both."

"Awesome."

And that was it. With all the ease of a _lycée_ student reciting the alphabet, Nino had his crush agreeing to a date. Jealousy spiked within Marinette; why couldn't she be that smooth, instead of freaking out over pointless couch pillows?

"All right," Alya said, smiling at Nino. Shifting her focus, her eyes honed in on Marinette. "Marinette, I want to know why you hid in the bathroom at school earlier this week."

Only quick internal reflexes saved Marinette from reviving her dying duck noise. Really, she should have seen this coming.

"Uhm…" she stuttered, trying to think up an answer that was true while hiding the truth.

"Remember," Alya said in her annoying sing-song voice, "you _have_ to tell the truth, and that means no lying by omission!"

"Girl's got a pass, if she wants to use it," Nino pointed out.

Yes, yes she did, but Marinette was well aware that if she used it now, she wouldn't have it for the next question, or the one after that, or the one after that. Suddenly her entire life loomed in front of her eyes, and she started ticking off all the things she needed to keep secret. That included pretty much everything involving Adrien, every akuma attack, and being Ladybug.

One pass was not nearly enough.

"I regret agreeing to this game," Marinette said, trying to keep her breathing even and not panicky. "I should have taken a better inventory of all the things I don't want to talk about. Can I make a rule addendum? Forty-seven passes for me?"

"HAH, you wish," Alya said. "Now answer the question, or hand over your pass."

Well, she was just going to have to get creative. She creatively lied to Chat all the time about her identity; she'd just have to employ the same tactics here. So long as she didn't look Adrien in the eyes (or indirectly or peripherally or even in her mind's eye) she could maybe pull this off.

"I…" she started, pausing to take a breath. Oh. She could just reuse the same excuse she'd already given Alya. "I found out my dear friend's secret and completely panicked because now I know way too much about him."

Alya gave her a very flat look. "Lying. By. Omission."

"Hey, the game is about _my_ truths, not somebody else's," Marinette said. "If you want to know them, you have to ask him."

"Fine," Alya said, then turned to Adrien. "Adrien, what secret did she learn about you that made her go hide in the bathroom?"

Adrien choked on his own spit.

"Okay, one," Marinette said, hand hovering over Adrien's back as she debated whether or not to whack him, "you only get one question and I answered it. And two-"

"And two," Adrien wheezed, "pretty sure I'm not her dear friend, nor does she know any of my secrets."

Alya gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'schedule.' Marinette glared, narrowing her eyes at her best friend. She dropped her hands in her lap; Adrien wasn't super high on her list of friends she wanted to keep happy anymore, so he could choke on his own spit for all she cared. Not a dear friend? Did he even know her?

Well, to be perfectly fair, no, he didn't. Still. Irrationally, it stung.

Crossing her arms, Marinette leaned as far away from Adrien as she could before taking her turn. "Adrien." He turned to look at her, face still red from his little choking incident. His eyes widened as he took in her angry stance, clearly unsure how to interpret her body language, despite it being perfectly transparent. "What makes you think you aren't one of my dear friends?"

"Uhm, well, uh," he stuttered. Marinette had to admit, it was nice for once to not be the tongue-tied one. "It's just, I mean, we're friends, but you-" He reached behind his head with one arm, awkwardness oozing from his person. "You just...you barely talk to me. The fact that I even got invited over tonight seems more like a happy accident, or maybe a way to prevent you from third-wheeling Alya and Nino. Not that I'm not happy to be here, I just-I wasn't expecting-"

"Stop."

He stopped.

"I find it insulting that you think you're not my friend," Marinette said, nevermind the fact that his reasoning was perfectly sound and more than made sense. "Just because I have trouble forming complete sentences around you in no way indicates you're not important to me. You getting invited isn't a happy accident, it was incredibly intentional, because you're my _friend_ and that friendship means more to me than you'll ever know. Furthermore, claiming not to be my dear friend spits in the face of all we've accomplished since you put gum on my chair."

"I didn't put gum on your chair-"

"There has been no conclusive evidence to the contrary," Marinette interrupted firmly.

Nino piped up with, "Actually, Marinette, I watched Chloe-"

"Nino!" Marinette barked. "Do not sully my story with facts!"

Nino held his hands up in surrender, while Adrien stared at Marinette in shock. Alya, on the other hand, buried her face in her hands, shoulders heaving with repressed giggles. Marinette ignored Alya and Nino in favor of focusing in on Adrien, relating through her eyes just how much he meant to her. "You are my friend. Have I made myself clear?"

Adrien's shock lingered a moment more before his face relaxed and the sunniest smile Marinette had ever seen poked out at her. It was a good thing she'd already delivered her speech, because her intense demeanor dropped as breathing became difficult. If he looked at her like that all the time, they might as well hold a funeral for Ladybug and pass her miraculous on to another user, because Marinette was pretty sure she wouldn't survive without air.

The game dissolved shortly thereafter when Adrien and Alya got into a shouting match over who was the bigger Ladybug fan. Nino refused to comment, and Marinette just smiled secretively at her friends. For all that Alya was the Ladyblogger, Adrien nursed a raging and reciprocated crush on Ladybug, not to mention he literally danced on rooftops with his Lady. But Alya didn't need to know any of that.

A lot of food, another round of UMS3, and a few creepy ghost stories later, Marinette bid farewell to her friends. Her parents were already in their room, preparing to sleep, but when the front door closed her mother popped her head out.

"Well? Is Adrien human after all?" Maman asked.

Marinette melted against the door frame, Adrien's happy smile flashing through her mind. "Yeah, Maman, he is."

Maman smiled affectionately. "Goodnight, sweetie."

"Night."

Marinette made her way up to her room, releasing Tikki from her purse. The little kwami flew in front of Marinette's smiling face, analyzing the expression she saw there.

"Marinette, you're glowing," Tikki said.

"He's wonderful," Marinette sighed, collapsing in a pile of bliss on her lounger.

"Just promise me next time an akuma attacks, you won't get distracted staring at Chat."

Marinette just giggled.

Half an hour.

That's how late Chat was, and as each minute ticked past, Ladybug couldn't decide whether to be worried or annoyed. Most likely he was distracted or had some last-minute civilian thing (like a photo shoot) come up, which meant she could be annoyed at him for not letting her know, but what if something had happened? What if there was an akuma trapping him as a civilian, or a regular criminal holding him up, or what if he got really sick between last night and right now? That made her worry, and she was having a hard time suppressing the urge to go to his house.

If he was sick, did she have enough time to go home and make him soup? Would her parents get suspicious and ask what she was making soup for? Would they believe her if she said Adrien? Would anybody even answer the door to let her in? Should she go as Marinette or Ladybug? Which would be the least suspicious?

A solid wall knocked into her, sending her sprawling on her side. "Let's turn on some mewsic and get this pawty started!" Chat bellowed, perched on the edge of the roof, giant grin claiming his face.

"Chat!" Ladybug barked, her worry already forgotten. "Where have you been? I was getting worried about you!"

"No you weren't," he replied primly, tail dancing. "At best, you were considering how to unnoticeably maim my face. At worst, you had my death planned out and were busy figuring out which akuma it could be blamed on. You hate it when I'm tardy."

"I was not planning your murder," Ladybug retorted, getting up from the floor of the roof. "I need you as bait for akumas." She made a show of checking herself over for injury, but her feline partner hardly noticed.

"Aw, my Lady does love me," Chat purred. "Nobody makes as good bait as I do."

That purr-THAT PURR. Ladybug felt like her brain was flashing neon at her: _Adrien purred at me! Adrien purred at me!_ Not a good way to start the evening, if her brain was already short circuiting. Get your wits together, girl! she internally scolded. It's just Chat! Whom you have a massive crush on and really want to make out with.

Now would be a really good time to bury her head in a pillow and blush.

"Mm, My Lady, cat got your tongue?"

"Not yet," she muttered.

A beat, then

"What?" Chat said incredulously.

"What?" Ladybug nearly screeched.

Another pause.

"Did you just-" Chat started.

"SO I DIDN'T MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF MY CRUSH," Ladybug hurriedly interjected. "We made real progress! Before you know it, I'll have him confessing undying love while we make out under the moon!"

ABORT

ABORT

ABORT SPEAKING RIGHT NOW

Ladybug could practically hear Tikki yelling at her to make excuses and run away before she said something else stupid, but she couldn't just take off; last time she did that, Chat sat depressed and alone on a roof. That was not going to happen again, not on her watch.

Oh stars, she was going to have to see this terrible conversation through.

Who would have thought Marinette could be so successful talking to Adrien, but Ladybug would nosedive with Chat?

"Huhh," Chat wheezed, clearly at a loss. Ladybug considered tossing out a comment about Ladybug having his tongue, but her pre-emptive blush declared that a horrible idea.

When in doubt, do what Marinettes do best:

"I mean we had a lovely time and I sat next to him and he didn't run away and much more importantly _I_ didn't run away and none of our other friends made fun of me or even commented on it at all which is honestly the only way I made it out of the encounter in one piece because if my bestie had so much as sniffed in my direction I would have turned the same color as a tomato and hidden in the bathroom the rest of the evening which would have been a major detriment to the state of my crush and then he would have announced me a freak and never spoken to me again which would only result in public humiliation and I'd have to dig an ostrich hole and live in it forever and you would have never again seen my beautiful face since I took up residence in dirt."

Rant really, really fast.

Chat burst out laughing, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. Ladybug's heart stuttered; it was the same laugh as that day with the umbrella.

 _Oh, Chat_.

"Don't worry, My Lady," Chat said after his laughing calmed down, "if you lived in dirt, I'd dig it."

Good feeling gone.

"Chat, we were having a moment," Ladybug complained. "I was having overly fond feelings for you. Now I just wish I had a squirt bottle."

"So you're saying I soiled the moment?"

He looked so proud of himself, Ladybug couldn't stay annoyed. She even almost let out a giggle at his waggling eyebrows. Walking over to his patch of roof, Ladybug leaned against the railing beside him and reached up to ruffle his hair ( _Adrien's_ hair!).

"More like fertilizer," she said, "spreading crap wherever you go."

Chat's eyes started legit _sparkling_ and Ladybug had a suddenly difficult time catching her breath.

"My Lady!" he cried, throwing his arms around her. "That-that pun-why, it was _spot_ on."

Ladybug gently nudged him backwards, hard enough to make her point, but not so hard he fell off. He dropped his arms. "You're in an awfully good mood, kitty. What's going on?"

"You know, My Lady, if you pun around your crush, it's a guaranteed way to grab his attention!"

That was a little too true.

"In fact, he'd be so impressed, he'd come find you in your dirt hole and declare it a ground-breaking discovery!"

And she was in love with this loser?

Yes, yes she was.

Ruffling his hair one more time, Ladybug resisted the urge to drop her head on his shoulder. "You would, wouldn't you?" Chat went stiff beside her right as Ladybug realized just what she'd said. She really wasn't very good at this whole secret-keeping thing, was she? Honestly, it was a miracle she hadn't accidentally announced to Alya or her parents her secret life as a superhero.

"So," Ladybug said, pretending with all her might that her last comment hadn't happened, "want to tell me why you're late?"

No sound came out of Chat. His eyes were still wide, mouth gaping at her, brain undoubtedly still processing her slip of the tongue. A blush stole its way across Ladybug's face, but there was no way in hell she was letting this be her identity reveal. Snapping her fingers repeatedly in front of her wannabe-lover's face, she said, "Chat. Chat! Anybody in there?"

His eyes blinked repeatedly, pupils focusing in on Ladybug. "Uhh…"

"Late!" Ladybug said. "Why?"

Chat shook his head, focus snapping back in. "Right. Tardy. Sorry. Uh! I mean, my dad had a last minute thing he needed me to do, and I can't get out of familial obligations for anything less than an emergency. Sorry, My Lady, but it was outside of my control."

So it was a photoshoot, then, or something related to modeling. Ladybug supposed she could live with that; she knew all too well how demanding parents could be when you were supposed to be delivering a cake to a paying customer, friends' competitive races be damned.

"Okay," she said simply, prepping her yoyo for launch. "Meet me at the first lookout point?"

A little over ten minutes later, they paused atop the Tour Montparnasse, casually scanning in every direction for signs of akuma.

"I love these tall buildings," Chat said dreamily. "You can see over the whole city, a bird's-eye-view of all Paris has to offer. Look, Bugaboo! There's our favorite place!"

Turning from her patrol, Ladybug cocked her head at Chat. "Okay, this is getting a bit ridiculous. I mean, you're always a bit ridiculous, but you're exuding happiness like an American exudes noise."

"I know! Isn't it wonderful?"

"Sure, but why?"

Chat flung his arms wide as if to embrace the world. Tilting his head back and laughing, he said, "Because I have a friend!"

Ladybug's blush caught back up with her; she had to duck her head to hide it.

Chat was talking about _her_.

His overexuberance, his slightly-too-contagious-joy was because of their ridiculous game of Truth, and it made Ladybug so happy she wanted to cry-not because he was so enthused over her, but because he was so ridiculously cheerful over making a friend. Her precious kitty was excreting cupcakes and rainbows because of friendship. How deprived had his life been for such a small thing to mean so much?

Glancing back at her partner, Ladybug had to duck her head again. Chat was positively _glowing_ as he stared over the city, radiating happiness. Ladybug's flush spread from her face to her body, her suit feeling overly warm. She really wanted to ask Chat about his friend (no matter how self-serving that was, or how much Tikki would scold her later), but she couldn't do it when her skin was the same color as her suit.

"Meet at you at Place de la Bastille!" Ladybug called as she shot off the roof.

All right. She needed a game plan before facing Chat, because she couldn't keep landmark-hopping out of her blushes. She was definitely going to ask him about last night and get his perspective, and if he teased her about it later, well, she'd just throw back in his face how he asked her opinion of Chat after she worked with him against the Evillustrator. She needed to know what he thought of Marinette and maybe try and push him in her direction.

Was that weird, pushing Chat on herself when she knew he had a crush on Ladybug? Well, Marinette and Ladybug were the same person, but he didn't know that (yet), so it's not like she would be pressing him to do something he didn't want to do, even if he didn't realize he was wanting to do it. Plus, if _Ladybug_ was pushing him to think of Marinette, maybe he'd start thinking of the two girls together and come to the conclusion on his own that they were one and the same! Because that was the goal, right? Get him to figure out she was herself?

Was she ready for that? It hadn't been that long since she figured out the truth about Chatdrien. Was she ready for him to know the truth about Maribug? Ladynette? Mardybugette?

Maybe she shouldn't be in charge of naming herself.

Time for a handy-dandy pro/con list.

Pros to Chatdrien knowing the truth

He'd know the truth

They could be each other's excuse for pulling disappearing acts come akuma time

Kissing might actually happen ((she blushed just thinking about it))

He'd talk to her in school

The size of his smile when he realized his friend was also His Lady

Cons to Chatdrien knowing the truth:

The eyebrow waggle. Oh gosh, the eyebrow waggle

Neverending bug and cat puns all. the. time.

Potential realization he didn't want to date her after all

But most importantly: He'd talk to her in school and she'd have to learn to make coherent noises

So basically it boiled down to two points: The size of his smile versus her dying duck noise.

Plus side: he might find the dying duck cute…? Or at least something to laugh over? Goodness, if her making squawking noises made him laugh, that wasn't even a contest. His happiness won out every time.

It was settled then. No matter how ill-equipped she felt she was, him knowing was the preferable outcome.

Arriving atop Place de la Bastille, Ladybug crouched at the foot of Victory, balancing against the sloped edge of the pedestal. Paris really had some amazing views, and she felt so lucky she got to experience them all from the highest vantage point.

Chat landed moments after her, perching on the other side of Victory. "Why aren't we on the observation deck?" he asked. "Better footing, more opportunity for friendly side hugs..." Which was precisely the reason they weren't farther down. Ladybug couldn't handle this awkward conversation if she were within touching capability.

Ignoring his question, Ladybug gave one of her own. "Tell me about this friend of yours, Chat. What's he like? How did you two meet? Why is he making you so happy?"

Smooth, Ladybug, pretending his friend is a male, she smugly told herself.

Chat waves his hand dismissively. "Not a _he_ , My Lady, but a _she_. We go to school together, and I honestly thought she hated me-well, not hate; she's too good to hate-"

 _I wish_ Marinette thought.

"-more like... passively disliked me. Or actively disliked me. It was unclear. But I found out last night she doesn't hate me at all and thinks of us as friends! That officially brings my friend count up to four. I'm lucky to have so many friends. So lucky, in fact, that I feel like maybe My Lady's luck has rubbed off on this alley cat."

"You thought she hated you…?"

Chat turned to face Ladybug, open innocence painting his face. He had never looked more like the boy Ladybug knew at school. "Oh yeah! She avoided me like the plague and was always stuttering and swallowing her words. We had a, uh, bit of an incident when we first met, and I thought she was still holding it against me. Turns out I was wrong!"

He was so cheerfully happy about being wrong, Ladybug couldn't help but want to reach out and hug him, which was precisely why she chose her precarious perch. No reaching for kitties until both parties were on equal emotional footing.

"I'm glad you have a friend, Kitty," Ladybug said softly, sending a gentle smile his way. An idea flashed across her mind-no, she couldn't. Could she? This...could end in disaster.

But then again, it might not.

"But tell me, if she wasn't stuttering around you because she was angry, why was she?"

Chat cocked his head to the side, a motion that only made Ladybug want to pet him. He considered her words, mulling it over. Ladybug's heart, _again_ , stuttered violently. He was so cute it was unfair. How could God have given that many good looks to one boy? Didn't He know the havoc it would wreak on Marinette's poor heart?

"Maybe…" Chat started hesitantly, "maybe...she has a speech impediment?"

His tone of voice screamed he didn't believe his own words.

In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

Oh gosh, she was going to regret this later.

"Thought ever occur to you, Kitty, that she has a crush on you and trips over her words because she likes you?"

The widening of Chat's eyes said that no, he never had considered such a thing, but boy was he considering it now.

Turned out Ladybug was a coward after all, so she leapt from the winged angel's foot before she could witness whatever conclusion Chat was coming to on the matter.

She didn't stop until she reached Sacré-Cœur.

Brave or foolhardy, she had just started the ball rolling on Chat's road of discovering her identity. Or possibly just sent the ball rolling towards Adrien gently letting her down. Oh crap-that was a possibility she hadn't considered. Given Chat's almost unbelievable obliviousness (of which she had a healthy dose, too), it was entirely too likely that he wouldn't make the connection between her two selves and instead decide he had to kindly reject her Marinette half. That-that couldn't happen! He wasn't allowed to not be interested in her! Or rather, he _was_ , but only because he wasn't interested, and not because he didn't realize she was her!

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ -

"You really think she likes me?" Chat asked as he landed beside her with a _whumpf_.

"Yee-aaaaaah!" Ladybug cried out in startlement. "Geez, Chat, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Ladybug, this is important," Chat said seriously. "No heart attacks." A gleam entered his eye and he opened his mouth, but Ladybug cut him off.

"No comments about this being more serious than a heart attack. Dammit, I just did it for you, didn't I?"

Chat wisely said nothing, but his eyes did enough talking for him.

A sigh slipped past Ladybug's lips. She really shouldn't have said anything to her cat without having an escape plan. She wasn't too keen on having this conversation with him without him knowing both parts of herself. "And yes, kitty, I do think she likes you. Standard girl behavior when facing an unreciprocated crush is a complete shutdown of all language facilities. It's slightly more common than you think."

Her partner crossed his arms, raising one claw to tap thoughtfully at his lip. "Do you think I should do anything about it?"

She choked on her own spit. "Sorry?" she wheezed, coughing her way past the word.

"Should I do anything about it? You're clearly into someone else, and I think she's pretty cute, but I'm not sure if I want...well? Should I?"

There had to be protocol somewhere on secretly advising your crush on whether or not he should ask you out. It was probably in the Miraculous handbook right next to the section about not discussing personal matters while patrolling for Hawkmoth's next akuma. Speaking of, maybe they ought to get back to looking for the little butter-

Hold up. Rewind. Did Chat just say she was…?

Oh mighty stars in heaven, _Adrien Agreste just called her cute_.

"I have to go immediately because I just remembered an emergency I made up," Ladybug said.

"My Lady?"

"BYE."

Sacré-Cœur was way too far away from her house. Why couldn't this conversation have happened on the Tour Eiffel? That was only a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. A few swings of her yoyo and she'd be home; she could have walked home as Marinette. But Sacré-Cœur? It was nearly an hour by car, way too long to walk, and swinging through the rooftops gave Chat too big of an opportunity to catch up.

Glancing back showed the sky clear of black cats, but Ladybug wasn't taking any chances. Picking up speed, she pushed Tikki as far as she could, knowing her kwami wouldn't be happy with her once they got home.

The bakery loomed in the distance, growing nearer as Ladybug flew closer. Once again, Ladybug was grateful her bedroom had its own entrance, even if her parents didn't consider it one. In a matter of seconds, she opened her skylight, dropped her transformation and fell to her bed.

"Marinette!" Tikki gasped, tiny chest heaving as she collapsed on Marinette's pillow. "What was that about? There wasn't even an akuma!"

Marinette buried her head in her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs and taking deep, mostly even breaths, trying to get her pounding heart to return to normal.

It took nearly five minutes for the sound of harsh breathing to dissipate, for calm to claim the room. External calm, anyway. Internal calm was not a thing that would happen again, possibly ever. After all, Adrien thought Marinette was cute.

Her blood pressure spiked again.

"Marinette," Tikki said, tiny body sprawled across the pillow, "get me some cookies so I can recharge, and then we're going to talk."

"Right. Talk," Marinette squeaked. Words. She could make those.

"Cookies," Tikki commanded.

"Yes. Cookies." Scurrying down the ladder, it took three minutes to run downstairs, grab a midnight snack, and dash back upstairs. Tikki took another few minutes to consume her food and enjoy it, before silence fell between the two. Marinette had carefully not been thinking about words like _Adrien_ and _cute_ , focusing instead on watching her kwami eat. Crumbs were surprisingly effective at being a distraction.

As soon as Tikki swallowed her last cookie and patted her tiny tummy contentedly, the small kwami turned to stare down Marinette. "Explain," she commanded.

Well, that was easy enough. Adrien thought she was cute, so she internally combusted and ran away to hyperventilate in the safety of her own room. But Marinette bit back the words before they escaped her tongue, because even as she thought them, she recognized how ridiculous they sounded. Wasn't the whole point of this exercise to get him to like her? And now that he was moderately interested (good enough!) she'd achieved that goal. All that was left was letting him know she knew who he was, then letting him know who she was, and presto, they'd get married and have a dozen kids.

So why did she run?

Because it was one thing for Chat to like Ladybug, but apparently outside her realm of comfort for him to _also_ like Marinette-who were the same person, but he didn't know that. So really, this should be the best of all possible worlds, because he liked both halves of her, and she didn't have to do anything extra to bring him to that point.

Again, this is what she wanted, _so why did she run_?

"Because it's one thing to want Adrien to want me, and another thing entirely for him to _actually_ want me!"

Tikki blinked her large blue eyes. "Marinette," she said patiently, "you did the thing again where you gave me your conclusion but forgot to share the lead-up."

Sitting down in her computer chair, Marinette dramatically spun it around, flinging her arms wide. "Adrien thinks I'm cute, so now I'm fighting an internal battle: half of me is screaming with ecstasy and planning our wedding, and half of me needs to cower under the sheets and quiver with anxiety. Since I'm very good at dealing with difficult situations, I ran away from Chat, _again_ , albeit with a slightly more humorous exit, and am, _again_ , awaiting a lecture from you. How is this my life, Tikki?"

Tikki zipped over to Marinette's twirling form, matching speed with the chair. "Marinette, you just need to break down the problem."

"And how do I do that?"

"Adrien thinks you're cute," the kwami couldn't help but smile extra wide and flit excitedly, which somewhat helped calm Marinette's nerves, because really, this was her dream come true, "which is what you want, but you're scared. Why are you scared?"

Marinette stilled her twirling chair, narrowing her eyes slightly in concentration. "Are you asking me because you don't know, or asking me because you do know and I don't?"

"Marinette."

Marinette propped her hand on her chin, pausing a moment to consider her words. "I'm scared because…"

"Yes?" Tikki prompted.

"Because," she continued softly, dropping her eyes to her lap, "if he likes me, there's nothing keeping us apart, and it's scary finally getting what you want most."

A gentle nudge from the soft kwami lifted Marinette's eyes. Her little friend was smiling encouragingly, which made the situation softer, more bearable. It also made Marinette realize just how pathetic she was being. "Aaugh, Tikki, this is ridiculous! I'm basically being handed on a silver platter the one thing that I want, and I'm freaking out about it? Talk about ridiculous fake emergency!" Sliding off her chair, Marinette fell into a slump on the floor, dragging her kwami down with her. "I am so pathetic."

Landing softly on top of Marinette's head, Tikki gently stroked her hair, pulling out a smidge of anxiety with each quiet movement. Marinette's shoulders relaxed. Closing her eyes, she gave in to the calm Tikki was exuding.

"It's not ridiculous if it's how you feel," Tikki said quietly. "Don't try and hide from it, either, Marinette; you need to feel what you're feeling and let it run its course. Feeling something isn't pathetic; it only becomes so if you let it run your life."

A little smile wormed its way onto Marinette's face. Tikki sounded an awful lot like her mother; she was pretty sure the little kwami and Sabine would get along famously if they ever met. "You're right," she whispered, closing her eyes to better appreciate the tingles in her scalp due to Tikki's ministrations, "and I know it."

So. Turns out she was a little freaked out by Chatdrien actually liking her back. It made sense, really, given how much of a floofball she'd been in his presence.

 _Floofball isn't a word_ , she heard internal Tikki say.

But really, what did she have to be embarrassed about, besides always tripping over her words, mispeaking, creating the most ridiculous portmanteau words, blushing redder than Nath's hair, being painfully obvious in front of her oblivious crush, everyone _in the world_ knowing about her feelings, stealing a cell phone, a stalker schedule, massive amounts of posters bearing Adrien's face, turning Lila into an akuma because jealousy…

Right, she had a lot to be embarrassed about. Suddenly her panic didn't seem so ridiculous, given her past actions. But in all fairness, Chat had accumulated his fair share of stupidity with regards to his quest for her heart. He probably had situations she wasn't even aware of. So ridiculous and pathetic though she may feel, he could probably match her humiliation for humiliation. And honestly, that thought was incredibly comforting. She wasn't the only idiot in the name of love.

Now she just needed to decide how to proceed. The only reason she hadn't already confessed to Adrien was because she wanted him to feel the same way about both of her selves (and also because she had to mentally mesh Chatdrien together, but she was feeling pretty confident on that point). Now that he was interested-or at least had called her cute…

He _was_ interested, right? This wasn't all in her head?

She gave herself a mental shake. _Don't be silly_ , she scolded herself. _He likes you enough to have asked you if he should ask you out._ Which was a point she was definitely going to mock him for once he became aware of the situation. Asking her advice about herself! The whole situation was amusing. Briefly she entertained the idea of _not_ telling him the truth, then proceeding to overload him on relationship advice so he'd be the perfect boyfriend. While a terrible idea in the long run, it would make for a hilarious (if brief) relationship.

Ooh, then she could show interest as Ladybug, and get him to dump her for herself! She giggled quietly. Again, not a viable solution, but entertaining to imagine.

Comig to a conclusion, she said, "Tikki, I'm going to do it. Monday, at school, provided my face doesn't overheat and my heart doesn't combust, I'm going to confront Adrien and tell him the truth."

"Good for you," Tikki said approvingly, finally withdrawing her paw from Marinette's hair. "This could be the start of something beautiful between you two."

"I sure hope so," Marinette said quietly, smiling as she sat up.

This could be it, the true start of their love story, the beginning of happily ever after. It would open a new era of communication, trust, and honesty between the two, and they'd finally be partners in every sense of the word.

"So," Tikki said, a hint of mischief in her voice, "when are you going to tell Adrien you walked in on him in the shower?"

Or she could go dig that dirt hole and live in it after all.

Peering up at the tall apartment building, Adrien wondered if showing up uninvited was a mistake. Not for the first time, he wished his homeschooling had included a course on how to properly interact with people. According to the cinema, showing up uninvited was a great way to further plot, but this was real life, and he didn't know if it still applied.

He really needed a _Socializing for Dummies_ book.

Pressing the buzzer, Adrien pretended his stomach wasn't tossing with nerves as he waited for a response. At least he knew how to contact an apartment; his veritable fortress of a mansion had taught him how to use intercoms and to be patient.

" _Hello?"_ a tinny female voice said.

"Um, hi, my name's Adrien Agreste and I'm looking for Nino?"

A beat of silence, then _bzzt._ Adrien opened the door, but stared around in confusion for a moment. Shouldn't there have been some sort of response before he was buzzed in? At his house, someone-usually Nathalie-always answered and granted permission before allowing entrance.

Was this a social cue he should understand? Maybe friends didn't need to stand on formality and everybody buzzed in their friends without giving a response. His house was abnormally stiff; maybe everyone who came by the Agreste mansion found the inhabitants to be unusually pretentious.

It was times like these he wished His Lady was around. Although he'd never confided this secret in her, he relied on her knowledge of the mundane to assist in their capture of akumas. She didn't call all the shots because she was the leader; she called all the shots because she knew so much more about the daily workings of Paris and people, and he bowed to her superior information.

Someday he was going to get down the workings of the world, and then maybe he wouldn't feel so incompetent all the time.

"What are you just standing there for?" Plagg asked from the inner pocket of Adrien's shirt. "You look kind of stupid standing halfway in the door."

"Thanks for the encouragement," Adrien muttered as he stepped all the way into Nino's apartment building. Why couldn't his kwami have been an encyclopedia of navigating the world?

"I am being encouraging; I'm preventing you from looking like an idiot."

In all fairness, Plagg probably was an encyclopedia of world navigation. He just showed it in the most caustic of considerate ways.

Nino lived on the third floor. Opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, Adrien traipsed up the four(2) flights to his destination, trying to walk away his nerves. He and Nino were pretty close, but he'd never before asked for advice about girls. It was a little nerve-racking, opening that can of worms. It's not like Nino would make fun of him...he didn't think Nino would, anyway. He hoped not. Oh no, what if Nino went back and reported all this to Alya? She was pretty much his girlfriend, and it was Alya's best friend Adrien was coming to ask about.

But who else did he have to go to? Ladybug's abrupt exit last night wasn't particularly useful, nor did he understand her fake emergency (he planned to bug her about that come next patrol or akuma attack). If she wasn't going to help him with Marinette, then Adrien only had Nino to ask, regardless of the Alya situation.

Well, there was always Plagg, but Adrien figured that had approximately the same success rate as running naked through the streets of Paris. He'd be moritifed and Plagg would have a field day.

Arriving at Nino's door, Adrien barely raised his hand to knock when Nino flung it open. "Dude!" Nino cried, grabbing Adrien by the arm and yanking him inside. "I didn't know you were allowed out of your compound! Or that you knew where I lived."

"I can read a directory, Nino," Adrien said, closing the door behind him.

"We have a school directory?"

"No, we have a class one. Mylène put it together when we worked on the class horror movie."

"Huh," Nino said. "That does explain how Alya sent me takeout."

"Wait, what?"

Nino waved his hand dismissivley as he led Adrien down a short hallway and into a room covered with band posters. A massive stereo system sat in one corner, and built-in bookshelves housed a variety of headphones, including multiple pairs of the ones Nino wore every day. Adrien briefly entertained the idea of poking fun at his friend, but then remembered how his own face was plastered all over Paris. He really didn't want to open the door of mockery with his best friend.

"Welcome to my music cave," Nino said grandly, gesturing to all of the room.

"It's not a cave!" called the same voice Adrien had heard over the apartment building's intercom.

"Yes it is, Mom!" Nino called back good-naturedly before shutting his door. "We're always disagreeing on what to call my room," Nino said. "I spent a while calling it my music dungeon, then my music lounge, then my hall of fame. Currently going with music cave. Mom, though, she's got no imagination and calls it my room."

Despite describing a disagreement with a parent, Nino's voice tone and body language screamed contentment, like the argument was more of a joke than an actual point of contention. Adrien couldn't imagine having that level of comfort with his father. If he even thought the word no, his father's ire descended upon the house.

Ladybug was the first person he'd ever felt comfortable enough with to say no to. Half of his teasing was just to get a rise out of her, a bantering disagreement where he could sharpen his pathetic skill (mostly why she always won), because it was an experience he never had at home.

For the first time in their short friendship, Adrien felt jealous of Nino.

He quickly shook it off; there was no point to it, and it didn't serve his purpose in showing up unannounced. Plus, given how much Adrien had that Nino didn't, it was probably about time he wanted something his friend had.

Taking a seat on Nino's bed, Adrien scooted back until he rested against the headboard. Nino turned on some tunes (Nino's term, not his) and joined him, sitting at the bed's foot. "So what brings you here?" Nino asked. "Not that you're not always welcome, but you've never come before so I figured there's a reason. What's up, bro?"

Adrien folded his arms behind his head. "I need some girl advice."

Nino burst out laughing; Adrien scowled. "It's not funny," he huffed, dropping his arms to cross in front of his chest.

"Is too," Nino said between laughs. "Seriously, dude, you _so_ do not need my help. Girls practically fall all over you."

While true, not exactly helpful. "Maybe, but I've never actually asked a girl out before-" except Ladybug, but he was not admitting to that "-or even been on a date."

"Unless you count Volpina telling Ladybug you were on a date."

"Doesn't count," Adrien said hotly. Being alone in his room with a psychotic villain hadn't been nearly as frightening as the worry that Ladybug might actually believe her ridiculous claims. "All that aside, because it's wrong, unrelated, and _not important_ -" Nino held up his hands defensively, but that smug smirk remained firmly in place-"I have a situation. You see...well, there's this girl I like-"

"Ladybug."

"And she-wait. How did you know?"

"Please," Nino snorted, "you're super obvious. You talk about her all the time, know almost as much about her as Alya, and I was there when you two met during the Jackady incident."

Adrien winced. Not his finest moment, but Ladybug had been looking at him like he was something important. What was he supposed to do, construct a coherent sentence? Be suave? Ask her out? Do something other than blush like a tomato?

Mostly he was just grateful he didn't trip over his own feet and accidentally kiss her.

"You make it sound like I'm obsessed or something," Adrien mumbled, ducking his head.

"You do realize you label your notes as Mr. Ladybug."

Adrien's face burned. He thought he wrote that small enough no one else would notice! Clearly he'd underestimated Nino's prescription, a mistake he would not repeat.

"Irrelevant," he said, shoving his embarrassment aside-a skill that came in handy way too often as Chat Noir. "Ladybug isn't available. She's interested in someone else, which brings me to-"

"Dude, you asked her?" Nino asked, sitting straight up as his eyes widened. "That's either hardcore, or ridiculously stupid. I'd never have the guts to ask out a superhero."

Adrien's blush crept back along his cheeks. Guts had nothing to do with it. He'd more or less been asking his Lady out every time he saw her since they first met. And now, knowing she had a massive crush on someone else, ridiculously stupid was all too apt a description.

No, not it wasn't. It was never stupid to go after what you wanted; just because you didn't get it didn't make the effort of trying worthless. Ladybug taught him that.

"Again, irrelevant," Adrien said, feigning exasperation. "Just let me tell my story will you?" Nino leaned back on the bed, kicking off his shoes to bring his feet up. He waved Adrien on. "I realized Ladybug is not currently attainable-" he politely ignored Nino's coughed " _no shit_ " -"and had it brought to my attention that Marinette might be interested. What I want-"

"Stop," Nino interuppted, raising a hand as if to hold back Adrien's words. "Rewind and repeat."

Adrien furrowed his brow in confusion. "Ladybug is unavailable?"

"Keep playing."

"Marinette-"

"Stop, bro, and say it slower."

"Marinette might be interested in me?"

"Whoa," Nino breathed, dropping his hand to his heart, "it finally happened."

"What happened?" Adrien asked in confusion.

"Captain Oblivious finally became aware! Marinette's been crushing on you for years and you finally figured it out! This is a red letter day. We need cookies to celebrate." Before Adrien could get a word in edgewise, Nino threw open his bedroom door and dashed to, presumably, the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Adrien's shirt pocket was vibrating.

"Shut up, Plagg, it isn't funny," Adrien said, face red.

Plagg laughed harder.

Cookies in hand, Nino returned before Adrien and Plagg could go at it; a good thing, in Adrien's opinion. Given how hard his kwami was chortling, the conversation would only have ended in Adrien's frustrated embarrassment.

Nino ripped open the package of Prince cookies, tossing one Adrien's way. "To finally figuring out the obvious!" Nino crowed, shoving the whole thing in his mouth. Adrien stared, slightly in awe; these were no small cookies, so that was no mean feat. He took a small bite of his own cookie, wondering if his nutritionist was suddenly and inexplicably having a heart attack.

"Okay, tell me," Nino said once his cookie was (mostly) chewed and swallowed: "what clued you into Marinette's feelings? Was it our hangout at her house Friday night?"

Adrien honestly didn't know what to say. Marinette actually liked him? Ladybug wasn't just making things up? Well, she was a girl, so she'd know better than Adrien what Marinette's behavior meant, and he hadn't really doubted her, but really?

"Marinette actually likes me?" Adrien asked, unable to keep the surprise off his face.

Nino blinked at him. "You're the one who came in here and said it."

"Well, yes, but I said _might-_ she really does?"

Taking a bite of another cookie, Nino said, "Let me get this straight. Somehow you figured out Marinette might like you, so you come here to talk about it, are shocked to realize it's true, and now can't believe it's true?"

"Well, uhm, it's just, I mean...yes?"

Shoving the rest of the cookie in his mouth, Nino shook his head and said, "You really are oblivious. Why do you think she invited us over, dude?"

Adrien floundered, unsure of what to say. "She said I was her friend."

"Convenient excuse," Nino dismissed. "True one, yeah, but still an excuse. That girl has a crush on you so big it makes Chloe's hair look flat."

"Does that analogy even make sense?"

"Sure."

So. Marinette had a crush on him, and invited him over because of said crush. It sounded horribly familiar, but Adrien was too stuck on the fact that his cute classmate actually liked him to connect any dots.

His shirt pocket was still vibrating.

"Should I ask her out?"

Nino shrugged. "'S up to you, man," he said. "It would totally make her day. But if you aren't really into her, don't do it. Marinette deserves better than to be led on, and if you intentionally hurt her, Alya will skin you like a cat." That analogy hit a little too close to home. Adrien shivered. "For that matter, I'll help her gut you. You're my man and all, but Marinette deserves better."

Adrien couldn't argue with that. If he wasn't actually into Marinette, or if he was using her as a placeholder for Ladybug, then asking her out would make him into the sort of person she thought he was when she caught him supposedly placing gum on her chair. So that begged the question which plagued him for the rest of his visit: was he legitimately interested in her?

Later that night, tucked safely in his bed, Adrien pondered over the matter of Ladybug and Marinette. The torch he carried for His Lady wasn't burning out any time soon, but he accepted that her affections were elsewhere. She'd made her disinterest known, and he wasn't going to jeopardize their friendship by pushing for something she did not want.

But could he handle dating someone else while he still felt this way?

More importantly, would she care? _Which she?_ his mind asked him. Either.

It felt dishonest, attempting to pursue another young lady while his heart belonged elsewhere, but if he didn't put a little effort into it, how was he going to get over Ladybug? Rebound relationships were a thing. He was far from the first person to consider one. Most people, as far as TV and movies had informed him, didn't first consider a rebound; they simply leapt in head first. The fact that he was giving it some thought already put him ahead of the pack. So no, going on the rebound was hardly the worst thing he could do.

Unfortunately, a relationship involved more than one person, and he had to consider Marinette's feelings. Nino was right; his sweet classmate deserved more than to be used and tossed aside like yesterday's paper. If he wanted to pursue anything with Marinette, it couldn't be with the intention of ending things before they even began. He would have to throw himself into it body and soul and give her all the attention she deserved. And quite frankly, until he eradicated his feelings for Ladybug from his mind, that wasn't something he was willing to do.

With a sigh, Adrien rolled on his side and stared at the shadows on the walls. Why did he have to be so into Ladybug? Marinette would have made a great girlfriend. Besides being sweet and cute, she was also his friend, one of his first. He remembered the intense way she'd stared him down when he was at her house, impressing upon him just how much she valued their friendship. It had made him glow, knowing she cared about his wellbeing. If she really had a crush on him (and who was he to deny Nino's intelligence?), it would make the job of wooing her that much simpler. He could imagine her blush-he'd seen it often enough, after all-as he lavished attention on her, see the way her eyes lit up at the prospect of being close with him. He knew he'd be cherished in her care, and he'd work hard to treat her the same way.

He'd also have the benefit of her parents. Having met them, Adrien knew exactly where Marinette's kindness came from. Then there was the side benefit of delicious baked goods. Not a reason on its own to date her, but definitely a perk. And they'd have a lot of fun together. She was really good at playing video games, and could probably be talked into watching all of Adrien's favorite animes. And given how often she was late or missed events, she probably wouldn't notice Adrien constantly taking off for Chat Noir duties.

Adrien sighed again; Marinette would have been a good girlfriend. If only his debilitating crush on Ladybug didn't stand in his way…

Closing his eyes, Adrien floated on the edge of sleep, picturing His Lady as she smiled and cooed at him. Her brilliant blue eyes flashed at him, warming his drifting thoughts. She had gorgeous eyes. Marinette did, too, deep blue and full of life. Both were vivacious and could stare him down, and both had the courage to face down their most hated enemies. If only they could be the same person…

Sleep claimed him, breathing deeply and evenly as he was lost to the world of dreams...for all of two seconds.

Sitting straight up, Adrien accidentally dislodged Plagg from the pillow. "Hey!" grumbled the half-asleep kwami, but Adrien completely ignored him, skin flushing and heart pounding, because he was suddenly, inexplicably, and absolutely certain of one thing:

 _Marinette and Ladybug were the same person._

Monday morning dawned bright and early. Adrien hadn't slept a wink last night, going over every scrap of information he possessed on Ladybug and Marinette, trying to combine the two in his head. He was pretty sure he was running strictly on adrenaline, but couldn't find it in him to care, as he'd never been more awake.

Morning routines were rushed as Adrien considered the prospect of going to school and seeing his lady love. He nearly dripped toothpaste all over his shirt and barely tasted his food-not necessarily in that order, but then again, it's not like he was paying attention to what he was doing-and almost ran out the door without shoes. He made it all the way to the car before realizing he'd forgotten Plagg, who was still snoring away on Adrien's pillow. Gorilla barely twitched as Adrien made an about-face to run back for his kwami, grabbing the little guy off the pillow and rudely jerking him awake.

"Hey! Where's the akuma?" Plagg asked groggily, clinging to the last vestiges of sleep.

"No akuma, just Ladybug," Adrien huffed, running back out of his room.

"Ladybug's here?" Plagg asked, instantly alert.

"No! She's at school! Or will be! I'm going to talk to her!"

The little black kwami tilted his head back, narrowing his eyes at Adrien as if searching for something in his face. He must have found it, because his eyes widened, and through a yawn he said, "Finally figured out Marinette's the one, huh? 'Bout time."

Adrien skidded to a stop, the front door slamming closed behind him. Incredulity overtook his features as he stared down at Plagg. "You knew?!" he screeched.

"Unlike you, _I'm_ not an idiot," Plagg said dismissively.

Ever so briefly, Adrien considered shaking his annoying kwami until his eyes swirled, but reminded himself that violence was only for defeating a possessed akuma, not interrogating little demons who didn't provide necessary intelligence until it was too late.

Viciously stuffing Plagg in his shirt, Adrien dashed back to the car where Gorilla was patiently waiting. It was the longest 5 minute car ride he'd ever taken, seeming to drag on for hours. Adrien's heart was still pumping furiously, although now a combined mix of excitement and fear. What was he going to say to her? Did she even want to know? Or would her crush on him dissipate once she realized he was also her alley cat?

That thought brought him up short. Ladybug hadn't ever reciprocated his feelings, or even been remotely serious in returning his flirtations. And she'd been asking him advice on how to ask out her crush for the last week. There was no way she'd have asked him for help if she knew he was the one she was dreaming about.

Hopping out of the car with a hurried _thanks_ tossed at his driver, Adrien took immediate refuge in a bathroom stall. He tugged Plagg out and held the kwami at eye level. Plagg sniffed dismissively, obviously still offended over being shoved in Adrien's shirt, but Adrien was too desperate to care. Even the now distant memory of Plagg admitting to knowing Ladybug (had that conversation really only been seven minutes ago?) couldn't ruffle him. He was seriously worried Ladybug would hate him once she knew the truth.

"Plagg, help me," Adrien said seriously.

"You and what cheese?" Plagg huffed.

"This cheese," Adrien said, grabbing a wheel of camembert out of his bag.

"Oh, my one true love, you're here!" Plagg cried, dematerializing out of Adrien's hand in order to wrap himself around the smelly dairy product. "I love you so, I've missed you so! Where have you been-"

"Plagg!" Adrien cried desperately. "You have all day for a reunion with something you saw not even twelve hours ago, but I'm dying here! I need your help!"

Plagg snorted disdainfully in his direction. "So now I'm good enough for you to be nice to? It doesn't work like that, Adrien. I need my precious cheese all the time, not just when you think you're having a romantic melt down. Now leave me be to enjoy the only thing I truly love."

"Plagg, please!" Adrien begged, desperation still coloring his voice. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier! Forgive me! Just help me, please!"

With a masterful toss, the camembert flew back into Adrien's bag as Plagg took on an air vaguely reminiscent of a psychiatrist. "Anything to help my boy," Plagg said genially.

Adrien refrained from pointing out how ten seconds ago Plagg had been actively against "anything."

"Now, tell Dr. Plagg your problems."

"Ladybug hates me."

Plagg stared dully back at him.

"Okay, fine, she doesn't hate me, but she's going to once she realizes I'm me. She's never been interested, and now, once she realizes her crush is her stupid partner, she's going to drop me like a yo-yo, but one of those cheap kinds that don't retract, and she'll leave me hanging forever because it's better than bringing me close again! I can't survive distance between us! Rejection, sure, I've been dealing with that for years, but complete lack of interaction? This is a disaster waiting to happen, Plagg. Our akuma glory days are _over_."

"Wow," Plagg said, flying up to Adrien's face. "I got a dramatic one this time."

Adrien...didn't quite know what to say. He settled with a grumbled, "I bet Ladybug's kwami is better at doling out advice."

"Definitely," Plagg said cheerfully, "but she also got a dramatic one, so I imagine she loses her temper every now and again."

That baffled Adrien. Dramatic? Ladybug? Either Plagg was on one, or Adrien didn't know His Lady half as well as he thought. Either way, that wasn't the point here.

"But Plagg-"

"No _but Plagg_ s, please," the kwami said, holding up a paw to forestall Adrien. "I've got camembert waiting for me, so let's make this quick. Answer me this, kid: what about Ladybug's behavior on your last patrol made you think she hates you?"

"The part where she ran away for a fake emergency," Adrien said glumly, resisting the urge to bury his hands in his hair and pull. Or possibly throw himself on the floor and weep.

Plagg's eyes went flat. "She _told_ you it was a fake emergency?"

"Yeah."

"What did you say to get _that_ response?"

"I told her I thought this girl in my class-who turned out to be her-was cute."

A beat of silence, then-

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Plagg dropped right out of the air into Adrien's bag, laughing louder and longer than Adrien thought was humanly possible. Granted, Plagg wasn't human, but this was getting a bit ridiculous.

A solid minute passed before Plagg crawled back out of the bag to lean over the edge, one little paw clutching his stomach and the other wiping tears from his green eyes. Adrien was a bit put out at the response he was getting, but his annoyance had cleared away the panic, so perhaps his kwami was on to something.

"She just-and you-" Plagg gasped, then gave up attempting coherency and fell back into the bag, laughter again overtaking him. Adrien resisted the urge to hiss.

"It isn't funny," Adrien hissed. Well, he tried.

"IS TOO!" Plagg howled.

Adrien folded his arms and impatiently waited for his kwami to calm down. The warning bell rang, bringing Adrien up short. That meant he'd just wasted his morning talking to his uncouth kwami, leaving no time to confront Ladybug-Marinette-Maribug-Ladynette-

He settled on Love of His Life.

"Are you done?" he demanded, leaning over his bag to glare at his tiny amused friend.

"Oh wow, was that ever an ab workout," Plagg sighed happily. "It's great living with you, kid; I'm always entertained."

"Glad I'm useful for something," Adrien muttered.

"Always," Plagg grinned. "But you'd better get to class before you're late; can't talk to Ladybug if you're in detention."

"Don't you mean I'd better go before I drop your camembert in the toilet?" Adrien said threateningly.

"That, too," Plagg said, grin still present. With a sigh, Adrien picked up his bag and opened the stall door. As he opened the bathroom exit, Plagg piped up with one last comment. "One thing, kid: she definitely doesn't hate you."

"Oh yeah? And how would you know?"

"Dark Cupid," Plagg said contentedly, dropping back into the bag.

Dark Cupid? Adrien mulled that over in confusion as he headed toward class. He remembered the event pretty clearly, simply because the akuma got in his way of confessing to Ladybug. They barely exchanged words after Ladybug cast her healing light, parting ways due to the beeping of their miraculouses. How did that prove his lady love didn't hate him?

Regardless, Adrien had about two seconds to get it together before he walked in and saw Marinette. Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and lifted his head, channeling his inner model. All he had to do was act cool, using the same ruse he put on in front of all the photographers.

Pushing open the classroom door, he strode into class, drawing on every ounce of confidence he used on the catwalk ( _hah, catwalk_ ). Glancing casually to the side, he could see her. There she was, sitting in her seat, on time for once, laughing at something Alya said. All she needed to do was direct her gaze his way, and he'd smile at her, she'd smile back, and they'd share a moment, a connection outside of the suits, even if she didn't know that's what they were doing.

As if his gaze was magnetic, Marinette turned towards him, brilliant smile already on her face.

Oh.

Oh no.

He wasn't ready for the power of the sun to be directed at him, and like a baby learning to walk, Adrien tripped over his own feet and went sprawling on the floor.

He could just _hear_ Plagg guffawing.

"Adrien!" Marinette's concerned voice floated his way, but more pleasant to hear than Nino's snickering. Adrien, face planted firmly on the floor, debated the merits of being eaten by the floor. His whole body was flushed, and he _really_ didn't want to look up and see everybody staring at him. Was playing dead an option?

 _No_ , he harshly chastised himself. Giving up before he even started was no way to gain the affections of the Love of His Life. Embarrassing or not, he was going to see this through.

Sitting up and tilting his head in Marinette's general direction, Adrien was greeted by the gasps of the entire class. He tilted his head further to the side, trying to figure out what was so concerning. Akuma? No; if there had been, Marinette would be staring at it, or trying to sneak off to the bathroom, instead of staring at him with wide eyes. Was his hair messed up? He momentarily panicked, worried about his Lady-love figuring out who he was simply because his gel job was mussed. A quick hand up dispelled that concern; his hair was still perfectly in place.

It was Nino who finally clued him in to the problem. "Dude, your nose in bleeding!"

Oh. Now that he was paying attention, he could see the blood dripping off his face and pooling on the floor. Oh, wow, that was a lot of blood. Gently touching his nose, pain radiated around his nasal cavity, and it was definitely already swollen. This was not good; his dad was going to kill him-not to mention Plagg was going to laugh at him forever.

 _How did you get that broken nose, Adrien?_

 _I was distracted by Ladybug and tripped over my own feet._

 _You broke your own nose because of your crush._

 _Yes._

 _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!_

What were the chances he could get away with not telling his kwami…?

A cloth being shoved under his nose startled Adrien out of his thoughts and he focused on Marinette, who was now kneeling beside him. Her black jacket had been removed and wadded up to catch his blood; she was holding it so gently he almost couldn't feel the material against his face. Or maybe that's because his nose was swollen and he couldn't feel anything at all in that region. Or maybe it was because he'd already forgotten about his injury in favor of staring into Marinette's concerned blue eyes.

He loved having her concerned about him. Maybe he could make breaking his nose a regular part of his daily routine. He brightened at the prospect. Having Marinette fawn over him was totally worth the pain, swelling, and inevitable bruising. It more than made up for the fact that he'd have to quit his job as a model due to his distorted appearance. Just the thought of her delicate hands cradling his face made the entire ordeal a bright spot.

But wait-how would this affect his life as Chat Noir? And much more importantly, how ugly would it make him? Not that he figured Marinette was shallow enough to only like him for his stunning good looks, but it's not like he _knew_ that wasn't the reason she was crushing on him. There was that unfortunate possibility that she would be so repulsed by his bruised face her tenuous interest in him would vanish. Maybe he ought to rethink this.

"-to the nurse," Marinette was saying, helping him to his feet. Nurse. Right. Maybe he should pay attention to his Lady Love. Ooh, _ow_ , standing up hurt his head.

Marinette led Adrien downstairs, keeping up a steady stream of mindless chatter. Adrien had a hard time focusing on her words, instead completely distracted by the throbbing in his nose. It was sort of like a heartbeat: _throb. Throb. Throb. Throb._ Kind of cool, his injury beating in time with his heart. No, wait, that _was_ his heartbeat, reverberating in his skull. Was this cool or terrifying? Maybe His Lady would know.

"-listening to me?" Marinette was asking him as their feet touched the bottom of the stairs, concern embedded in her eyes. She was pretty when she cared about him.

"You're pretty," he said. Her face turned nearly as red as his blood, his brain caught up with what he said, and Adrien was back to wishing for the floor to swallow him up.

"I mean!" he cried thickly, his nose impeding his speech. "I mean you're-you're not pretty-no! I mean you are! I think! I mean yes!"

So much for smoothly asking her out.

"I stand by what I said," he said, hanging his head low and nearly dislodging her jacket, which he belatedly realized was thoroughly bloodied, thanks to him.

"Eep," was all he got in response.

In for a penny in for a pound, right? He might regret this later, when he could think straight. Pretending to stumble-actually, no pretense needed, he really did stumble, and that was humiliating for a sure-footed cat like him-he threw an arm around Marinette's shoulders, using her to keep him upright. He couldn't tell if his face was on fire, considering how much blood was already coming out of his nose, but if he wasn't blushing, it wasn't for lack of feeling like a fool. Still, Marinette's arm snaked around his waist, helping to keep him upright, and suddenly all his pain from his broken nose no longer mattered, because he was touching her and she was touching him and he was positive he could fly, no baton or yoyo needed.

Was it his imagination, or did she tighten her hold a little?

Walking those last forty feet to the nurse's office were the happiest forty feet of Adrien's life. His little nose dive, though not the swooping romantic gesture he wanted, hadn't been in _vein_.

The nurse, after sending Marinette back to class, made quick work of his nose, cleaning him up and handing him an ice pack to keep the swelling down. She declared his nose bruised, not broken, which brought immense relief to Adrien's mind. A quick phone call home resulted in his embarrassed explanation that despite mastering the catwalk, he had not mastered putting one foot in front of the other, resulting in a stern admonition to pay attention to his surroundings. Adrien refrained from explaining that he _had_ been paying attention to his surroundings, thank you very much, it's just that those surroundings had a killer smile and way too firm a grip on his heart.

Which brought him back to his original problem: what was he going to say to Marinette?

"How about _thank you_?" Plagg suggested from his perch on Adrien's bag as they walked back to class.

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is that simple," Plagg replied. "Don't overcomplicate it. And offer her cheese. You can never go wrong with cheese."

In Plagg's world that was definitely true, but Adrien was pretty sure if he gave Marinette cheese, she would just look at him crossways, declare him mentally unstable, and terminate her crush, all without ever discovering his other identity as her akuma-fighting partner.

Still, he had to say something. He couldn't afford another encounter like the one this morning, not to mention it wasn't in his nature to just sit by while his Lady Love was _right there_. He had to try something.

Sitting through morning classes was tortuous, knowing she was sitting immediately behind him. He desperately wanted to turn around and stare at her, take in her beautiful eyes and blinding smile. It was probably a good thing school forced him to face forward, else he'd scare her off before noon with his attention.

He needed a plan of action. Unfortunately, his current plan of action involved throwing himself at her feet and meowing piteously, hoping she'd accept his meager offer and take him home to love him forever, and even he knew that was a terrible idea. Be realistic, Agreste. What can you do that is actually in the realm of feasibility?

Lunch. He could do lunch. But didn't she eat at home? Inviting her to his house wasn't much of an option, as he didn't fancy having her thrown out by his overprotective father before he could make any headway. And while it was rude to invite himself over, it wouldn't be rude if he could finagle an invitation from her.

The only major problem with eating lunch at her house was the question of cheese. Did she have it, and could he pilfer some? His kwami would not be happy if he had to go without lunch. Plagg, self centered at the best of times, became unbearable when hungry.

But maybe he could pawn Plagg off on Ladybug's kwami! Adrien brightened considerably at the prospect. It would get his little shadow out of the way while he made a fool of himself trying to confess his love (or at least deep desire to be her best friend out of costume, too, Alya be damned-he was willing to fight that battle). The last thing he needed was Plagg being party to his potential humiliation.

As lunch approached, the tattoo of Adrien's heart increased and his palms started getting a bit damp. He shouldn't be this nervous. Marinette was Ladybug, with whom he shared a very familiar friendship. He flirted with her all the time, touched her all the time, hugged her all the time-so why was the prospect of approaching Marinette turning him into such a nervous wreck?

The lunch bell rang, and his classmates left in a stream of happy chatter. Adrien packed his bag slowly, lingering long enough to hopefully catch Marinette alone. Watching her out of the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but notice she was also packing rather slowly. Perhaps she was lingering, too? A small surge of hope gripped his heart.

Alya was the last to leave, besides the two superheroes. Adrien closed his bag, and turned to Marinette, only to find her already looking at him. He couldn't help it; he blushed, which in turn provoked an amused smile from her. He would happily spend the rest of his days blushing if she would keep directing that smile at him.

"Marinette," he said a bit stuffily, due to his injured nose.

"Adrien," she responded, her smile growing. She was giving him heart palpitations. What had he wanted to say? Something about drowning in her radiant smile? Getting lost in the oceans of her eyes? Spending the rest of his days supporting her in anything she wanted to do?

"Do you want to come over for lunch?" she said, interrupting his thoughts. Lunch-yes! He finagled an invitation without doing anything!

"Yes," he said, a trifle breathlessly, which would would probably have been embarrassing if she hadn't turned such a becoming shade of red.

They didn't say anything on the way to the bakery (after a quick text letting Nathalie know he wasn't coming home; he shut his phone off so he wouldn't be bombarded with inquiries after his whereabouts. He'd deal with the ramifications tonight). It was a charged silence, but with what, Adrien wasn't exactly sure. Lovesick sidekicks on his end, but hers, who knows what?

Up in Marinette's apartment, Mrs. Cheng was preparing lunch. She looked at Adrien with brief surprise she quickly morphed into a welcoming smile. "Adrien!" she greeted, genuinely happy to see him. If Nathalie had ever given him even a quarter of the enthusiasm Mrs. Cheng now exuded, he would have loved going home for lunch. "I didn't know we were expecting you; let me make up an extra plate."

"It was a last minute thing, Maman," Marinette said, dropping her bag beside the couch. Adrien followed suit.

As Mrs. Cheng hustled about the kitchen, she queried after Adrien's nose, which Marinette earnestly explained away as being an accident. He didn't bother correcting her; no one here needed to know he couldn't keep his own footing when faced with the blinding light of the sun.

To his great relief, Marinette's mom didn't linger for the meal. She gave some excuse about being needed in the bakery, which Adrien was sure was untrue, but gave him space to confess to Marinette. And really, since he didn't expect this to go well, he was just as happy to not have an audience to his humiliation.

As the door shut behind Mrs. Cheng, Marinette was the one who broke the silence. "Kitty, I have something I need to tell you," she said, catching his eyes.

Kitty.

Kitty.

 _Kitty_.

She just called him _kitty._ But what did that mean? Did she do it on purpose? Was she just so used to him in superhero form that it slipped out unintentionally? Or-

Or did it mean she _knew_?

Judging by the cautious look in her eyes, it was that last one.

"You _know_?" he gasped, dropping his fork to stare at her, eyes as wide as they could possibly go.

"Um, well, yes," she said, her whole face turning red.

Adrien leapt up from the table where they were sitting and started pacing around the room, talking to himself. And a little bit to her. But mostly himself. "Oh gosh. You know. You know! You _know!_ How long have you known? How long has this been a thing, and you didn't tell me in return? Was it funny watching me moon over you like a little lost puppy dog? You've known and yet you said _nothing_ -" His brain finally caught up to his words, and realization ripped through him. Whirling on her, he cried out, "You _know!_ _And_ you've been asking me advice about me!" Her eyes widened in mortification, while his narrowed in glee. "You wanted me to tell you how best to ask me out! Hah! That's brilliant!"

Marinette buried her head in her arms, letting out a low moan. "I knew this was a terrible idea."

"Not really! It was probably the best idea you've ever had, because who knows better what I'd want than me? And it worked like a charm, too."

Marinette tilted her head to the side, peeking up at him. "It worked?"

"Like a lucky charm."

She opened her mouth to say something, but paused instead. Something flashed in her eyes, which resulted in narrowing them while sitting up straight. Momentary fear gripped Adrien's heart; this was a look she only ever gave him before chewing him out. What had he done wrong in the last ten seconds?

"You know I'm Ladybug," she said flatly. The panic disappeared. He could handle _that_.

"Figured it out just last night," he said earnestly, leaning toward her just the tiniest bit. "I was nearly asleep when my brain made the connection, and I've been in a jitter ever since to talk to you. In fact, I planned to approach you at lunch, but you beat me to it."

Her head now rested gently atop her hands. Adrien was struck with how pretty she was; he wished he had a camera on hand to document the moment. (Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that he had a phone with a camera, but he was too worked up to remember to pull it out.)

"What were you going to say?" Marinette asked.

"Well, I figured you didn't realize I was me, and would be mortified that you'd been asking your trusty partner, me, boy advice about your crush, also me, and I planned to remedy that situation immediately so you wouldn't feel humiliated or like I led you on or tricked you. Honestly, I was expecting a complete shut down and refusal to acknowledge my existence, so finding out you already knew I was me, which means you don't hate me and won't stop talking to me, is just about the best thing that could have happened today."

There it was again, that blinding smile of hers. Adrien felt warmed all over.

"Kitty, I could never stop talking to you," she said fondly. "You're one of my best friends, not to mention I need my favorite bait for akuma battles."

One of her best friends. That was the second time in less than a week she'd staked her claim as friend, and it felt _wonderful_. Adrien let loose his brightest smile, barely able to keep in the joy he felt at being wanted.

" _But you cannot keep smiling at me like that if you want me to live long enough to face the next akuma battle!"_ Marinette said harshly, her hands moving to clutch her heart. Her look of flustered bewilderment let Adrien know she wasn't mad, just...affected. He couldn't help it; his grin grew brighter. It was one heck of an ego booster, knowing his smile affected her just as much as hers did him.

In a surge of confidence, Adrien stepped forward and pulled Marinette out of her chair and into a hug. He'd touched her civilian self before, sure, but mostly shoulder touches (he studiously ignored the one time he almost kissed her while filming their class movie, lest he dwell on lost opportunities). He'd hugged her before, but only as Ladybug, and mostly out of relief. Hugging her now, in civilian form, and knowing she was crushing on him, was-well, it was downright miraculous.

He grinned, opening his mouth to say it, but she cut him off. "I swear, Chat, if you say _anything_ about this being a purrfect moment-"

He cut her off by pulling her in more securely, smushing her face against his chest. Her lips were still moving, tickling slightly through the fabric of his shirt. "Thought hadn't crossed my mind," he said honestly.

She made a noise of disbelief.

After such a perfect moment, Adrien was loath to let her go, but they still needed to eat, and given that an akuma attack could happen at any moment, they perpetually needed to keep up their strength. He pulled Marinette's chair out for her, which sparked another round of blushing, to his delight. Setting into his own meal, he asked, "So how did you figure out who I was?"

"That awful pun about the silkworms," she said between bites. "I overheard you saying it to Nino, so I panicked and hid in the bathroom."

Aw, they'd had the exact same reaction. If that wasn't a sign they were meant for each other, Adrien didn't know what was.

Once again, his slow brain turned on a lightbulb, and he nearly dropped his fork a second time. Cocking one eyebrow in a pointed look, he said, "So when Alya asked me what made you hide in the bathroom, I could have said you discovered my shit?"

"Oh my _gosh_ ," Marinette said, flinging a pea at him. "That was horrible!"

Adrien grinned, way too pleased with himself. "It wasn't crappy."

"Stop," Marinette said, but her smile belied her words.

"In fact, you could say it was my _duty_ to tell her."

"You are literally the worst," she said fondly. Adrien smiled around his fork. "Actually, that game was a nightmare. As soon as Alya started asking questions, I realized just how many things I had to hide, all of which involved you, and I nearly panicked myself into another toilet hideout."

"You managed to avoid saying anything incriminating."

"That's because you and Alya derailed the game with your competition over who loved me more."

Heh. That had been a good argument. Adrien wished every disagreement with his father was as fun to have as the squabble with his friend had been.

Silence fell between them while they chewed, finally giving Plagg a moment to cough towards Adrien. Looking down at his kwami, he was greeted with large sad eyes while Plagg mimed dying from lack of food.

"Oh my gosh, you're so dramatic," he said towards his bag.

"What?" Marinette asked quizzically.

Looking back at her, Adrien said, "Just my kwami. He's telling me he's one step away from starvation."

"Oh! I forgot about the kwamis," Marinette said, standing up. "Tikki eats cookies, very convenient for a baker's daughter. What can I get your kwami?"

Taking this as an invitation to invade their private party, Plagg zipped up by Adrien's head and said, "Marinette! Finally! Adrien's been starving me all day, and I am mere seconds from expiring, leaving you utterly partnerless! Save me from this monster!"

Really, Adrien's kwami could give Chloe a run for drama queen.

A little red blur flew out of Marinette's bag to land beside His Lady's plate. She tapped her foot disapprovingly at Plagg. Adrien's mind was boggled. He hadn't thought there could be anything cuter than Marinette, yet here he sat, proven wrong. "You're being overdramatic, as usual," she said patiently. "Now introduce yourself like a good kwami and ask politely for lunch. Hello, Adrien." She sent him a small wave, which he returned.

"Tikki!" Plagg cried, flipping upside down. "Is that how you greet an old friend?"

"I'm not touching you until you've been fed," the tiny ladybug kwami said. "I want a proper greeting, not you bemoaning that I'm second to cheese."

Turning to Marinette, Plagg said, "Hi, I'm Plagg, Adrien's underappreciated and underfed kwami. Cheese now, please."

Marinette giggled. It sounded like tinkling bells. Adrien just barely held back an infatuated sigh; he'd never hear the end of it at home if he started mooning over his lady love in her own kitchen.

A quick moment to feed the kwamis, and they both took their respective favorite foods to the corner of the living room to reunite, leaving Adrien and Marinette alone, more or less. A smile lingered on her lips as her eyes trailed after the two godlings. Adrien felt the overpowering urge to kiss her. Not yet, he told himself, but soon. He hoped. If she'd let him.

But first, there was something preying on his mind that he really wanted clarified. "So, fake emergency, huh?" he said.

If it was possible, Adrien would swear Marinette tripped sitting down. She covered her face with her hands, letting out a low moan. "Can we _please_ forget that ever happened?" she asked.

"Not until you explain it."

"Adrien thought you hated him," Plagg piped up unhelpfully from the corner.

"Shut up, Plagg," Adrien said, face turning red.

Marinette peeked out between her fingers, which was unbearably cute. "Hated you! Goodness, no," she said.

That was reassuring, and also jived with the entire experience that was lunch. It eased away the last of Adrien's worries, giving way for confidence that a relationship between the two of them might actually be possible. "But you did run away," Adrien pointed out.

"You do remember what you said to me right before?"

"Not really. All I knew was you ran." Complete lie, but he wanted to hear her say it.

She buried her face again and let out a squeak. Adrien scooted his chair closer to the table until he could reach Marinette and poke her in the stomach. With a louder squeak, she flung herself backwards and scowled at him. Giving her his best puppy dog eyes, Adrien said, "Won't you tell me what I said that scared you off?"

"This is going to be a huge problem if I can't resist those eyes," Marinette said, squeezing her own shut. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm saying this to your face." She took a moment to flap her hands toward her own face, which Adrien found utterly adorable, before inhaling deeply and letting it out through her nose, eyes still firmly closed. "Okay. This is a thing. I can do this."

Adrien waited patiently while she psyched herself up.

"Okay. Yes. Um. You said…" She took another breath. "You said...you said you thought I was cute."

"And...that's a problem?"

"Massively!" Marinette said, her eyes blinking open. "You can't just go around telling me you think I'm cute when I'm busy pushing you into saying it! A girl's heart can't handle such confessions, no matter how much she wants to hear them!"

Adrien was suddenly torn between shouting with joy while dancing around the kitchen and comforting his adorable Bug. Better option? Which did she want more? Which would make her happier? Which would give Plagg the least amount of fodder for later mocking?

Aw, hell. This much joy shouldn't be contained.

"YES!" he shouted, accidentally exuberantly flinging his fork onto the kitchen floor. "I'm so in love with you it's pathetic, but you're into me, too, no matter how much or how little, and I don't think there's ever been a happier lunch in the history of the world!"

Marinette covered her face with her hands again, but Adrien could see the smile her fingers failed to cover, so he grabbed her out of her chair again and twirled around with her until she dropped her hands, the two of them laughing with joy.

Slowing to a stop, Adrien peered into her eyes as he said, "Marinette, I'm going to kiss you now, unless you tell me not to."

Her eyes widened slightly and her pupils dilated just a bit, but she said nothing, which Adrien took as tacit permission to go ahead. Leaning his head down, his lips brushed hers gently. Honestly, with just that small connection, he felt he could die happy. He was finally, _finally,_ kissing His Lady.

Feeling bold, he pressed his lips more firmly against hers and shifted his head ever so slightly so their noses bumped. Pain ripped through his face, and he dropped his beautiful new (he hoped) girlfriend to clutch at his recently injured nose.

"Adrien!" Marinette cried, hands fluttering near his nose without actually touching him. "Are you all right?"

He thought his watering eyes answered that question. "Normally I'd ask for a kiss to make it better," he said thickly, "but given the circumstances, I'm just going to sit on the couch and moan."

Marinette followed after him, her anxious hands now clutched tightly in front of her stomach. Collapsing onto the couch, Adrien slouched down until his head rested on the back. The two kwamis, finished with their meals, flew over to perch on his knees. Tikki looked concerned, but the gleam in Plagg's eye let Adrien know he'd be hearing about this later. And while Adrien knew someday he'd look back on this moment and laugh, right now he was just bitterly disappointed that he couldn't spend the rest of lunch making out with his (assumed) girlfriend.

It hurt too much to converse, so he closed his eyes until Marinette handed him an ice pack. "If you keep this up, Kitty," she said soothingly, "everyone will know you're Chat Noir thanks to the faux mask the black eyes are giving you."

Oh great. His father was going to kill him.

"Unnnnnnnnnnnnnng," he groaned.

Her hands started petting his hair, and Adrien melted. He'd had dozens of hair stylists fiddle with his hair, but nobody since his mother had put an ounce of feeling into the action. Every stroke of Marinette's hands carried compassion and consideration. It was a feeling greater than curling up in a pile of sunshine.

"Marinette," he asked, "does this mean you're my girlfriend? Because I really want you to be."

The hands in his hair stilled, but were replaced by her nuzzling the top of his head. "Yes, please," she said.

Adrien smiled. This day could have gone a lot worse.

They clearly weren't paying attention to anything, as Maman caught them cuddling on the couch.

"Not what I was expecting, but not an unpleasant sight," she said, looking down at them in amusement.

"Do not say one word," Marinette said fervently. "I still have my dignity in tact, and I'd llike to return to school that way."

"What?" Maman said. "I'm not going to say anything about you crushing on Adrien since you met him, or the umbrella you've still got tucked away in your room, or the multitude of pictures formerly hanging on your wall. Really, Marinette, I'm offended you'd say such a thing."

"Maman!" Marinette moaned, burying her face in Adrien's shoulder. She was finally beginning to understand why Alya was always saying parents were the worst part of a relationship. She didn't mean the significant other's parents-she meant your own.

"You still have that umbrella?" Adrien teased while Maman found him a new ice pack.

"No," Marinette's muffled voice said.

"A better question, dear Adrien, might be why she hasn't enshrined it yet."

"Maybe she was afraid you would tease her about it."

"I can't imagine where she'd come up with an idea like that," Maman said. "Maybe she should have let us talk to you when you came over to practice gaming for school, and I would be better prepared to converse with you."

"Maman!" came Marinette's muffled cry.

"Just a thought, dear," Maman said fondly, retreating to the kitchen.

"I like your mother," Adrien said, pulling Marinette closer. At least if she was being humiliated in her own home, she got to do it wrapped in her boyfriend's arms.

Boyfriend. Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't quite repress a smile. She could hardly believe how much things had changed since last week.

Lifting her head slightly, Marinette said in a quiet voice so her mother wouldn't hear, "I'm just grateful she knows nothing of our superhero exploits. She'd never let me hear the end of it if she knew what happened with Dark Cupid."

Adrien shifted slightly so he could better face her. "Okay, that's the second time today someone has referenced Dark Cupid," he said, equally quiet. "What in the world happened?"

Marinette flushed.

"That good, huh?" Adrien asked, amused.

"Shut up," she said, tucking her head back in his shoulder. "It was the first time we kissed." Except, given the superior muffling quality of his high-end clothing, it sounded more like, "werstegerssed."

"Did you just...meme me?" Adrien asked uncertainly.

In response, Marinette buried her head in further for a moment, before pulling back to look him in the eyes. Might as well get it over with now. "It was the first time we kissed."

Adrien looked at her askance. "Uh, no it wasn't. I would have definitely remembered any kissing, given that pretty much my whole life was dedicated to making you notice me."

Would he ever stop making her flush, or was that to be the rest of her life? Maybe she needed new makeup. Did foundation even come in red? She could start her own makeup company, based solely on the perpetually blushing complexion. It would be a huge hit with the easily embarrassed and crushing teenagers.

"You don't remember it. Dark Cupid had you under his power, and in order to save you, I…well, I remembered what Mme Bustier said about kissing your true love, so I kissed you to save you." He looked positively gobsmacked. It was a good look. "And...it worked. And I promised myself I'd never tell you ever in a hundred million years, and I especially wouldn't tell you how I can't. stop. thinking about it."

Yup, definitely needed to start that red-colored foundation company.

Adrien's jaw worked as he tried to come up with a response, but the dazed look in his eye told Marinette his thinking processes weren't functioning too well.

"You two should leave if you don't want to be late getting back to school," Maman said from the kitchen. Glancing at her phone, Marinette realized her mother was right. Adrien still didn't seem to be processing the world, so Marinette tugged him up from the couch and pushed him toward the door, leaving his ice pack on the kitchen counter. The two kwamis surreptitiously joined their Chosen; Marinette saw Plagg rolling with silent laughter as he slipped into Adrien's shirt. Tikki shook her head fondly as Marinette closed her purse.

As soon as they were on the street, Adrien finally spoke. " _How_ have I managed to go a _whole year_ without discovering that Ladybug kissed me?"

Marinette wrapped her arms around his left as they headed back to school, briefly resting her head on his shoulder. "Because I didn't tell you?"

" _But the Ladyblog._ "

"Alya missed that moment, thank goodness, and none of her avid followers caught it, either."

"Thank goodness! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I didn't want anybody else knowing I kissed you!"

"Why? Was it that bad?"

Marinette was saved from responding to this (her face was now the same color as the Chinese flag, her new permanent look) as Plagg poked his little head out of Adrien's shirt. "Kid, did you miss the part where she said she kissed her true love?"

Was it possible to turn purple from embarrassment?

"I heard," Adrien said, "and I'm duly ignoring it because I can only handle so much joy at a time. I don't want to find out if I'm capable of exploding from happiness. Nope. Nope. Nope."

Marinette gave Adrien the prettiest smile she could manage. Her kitty was adorable. "If we didn't have school right now, I'd cuddle up with you until you didn't know it was possible to feel anything but happiness."

Adrien's blinding smile was the best thing she'd seen all day.

"Ugh, you two are disgusting," Plagg said, retreating inside Adrien's shirt.

As they walked up to the school, Marinette was grateful she only had to cross the one street, because with the way Adrien was looking at her, there was no way she could have successfully navigated the streets of Paris.

They were a tad oblivious to the world, so lost in smiling at each other, that they reached their classroom without realizing Marinette was still wrapped around Adrien's arm.

"EEEEEE!" Rose shrieked, greeting them just inside the classrom. "Finally! Oh, I've been waiting for this day!" Overcome with excitement, she twirled around blissfully. Marinette ducked her head in Adrien's arm, hiding her wide smile.

"This is a good thing, right?" Nino asked, leaning over his desk.

"Definitely," Adrien said firmly.

"Oh man, wait 'til Alya gets here," Nino said.

At that exact moment, Alya walked in behind Marinette. "Why?" she demanded. "What have you done that's going to upset me?"

"Not him, me," Marinette said, turning her head enough so she could peek out at her best friend from behind her boyfriend's arm.

Alya's mouth dropped as she gaped like a fish. Adrien half turned to look at her, too. Whatever expression he was trying to make kept getting lost in his smile. Deep contentment flooded Marinette.

"Hi," Marinette waved.

"Oh my gosh, girl, you finally did it!" Alya exclaimed. "This is a red letter day! Let me take a picture-no, video! Both! Pictures _and_ video! Everything must be documented. Nino, help me!"

A couple of confusing minutes ensued as Alya and Nino argued over angles and positioning. Adrien and Marinette went along with it, their smiles so wide it was starting to hurt Marinette's cheeks.

Once a good picture was finally snapped and Nino's camera was rolling, Alya lowered her phone to frown at Adrien. "Dang, Marinette, did you have to beat Adrien into agreeing to go out with you?" Alya asked.

Marinette couldn't help the laugh she let out. Adrien scrunched up his face and stuck out his tongue, so Marinette reached up to ruffle his hair. "No," she said fondly. "I just told him a good joke."

A/N:

(1) French notebooks use graph paper, not lined paper

(2) European buildings start at floor 0, so the third floor is the fourth floor to Americans.

Bonus:

Adrien: So, you want to make out under the moon, eh?

Marinette: …

Adrien: *eyebrow waggle*

Marinette: Only if I can say the cat's got my tongue.

Adrien: .

Marinette: )

Adrien: I WILL FIND US A MOON RIGHT THIS SECOND. *scampers away*

Alya: ...He knows it's noon, right?

This is the longest story I've ever actually finished, and the first real fic I've written in nearly ten years. Ladybug, guys, it makes me do things. :) Also cross-posted to ao3.


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